Alone vs Lonely
Posted: Sun 22 November, 2020 Filed under: Domestic, Health, I Don't Understand, Lockdown, Mental Health, People, Thoughts 1 Comment »With the current Covid stuff, I’ve found it interesting to see how it has affected a range of people.
One of the big complaints about it is how the lockdowns have made so many people realise how lonely they are, along with the damage it’s done to those social norms and events.
Truly, this isn’t something I can empathise with. I’ve never really lived close to any of my friends – they’re scattered all over the place – so I’m absolutely used to being on my own in any particular area. So I’m alone, but I’m never lonely.
Alongside that, I don’t know, I simply don’t feel those things. I’m happy on my own, and always have been. Being sociable is my “not normal“, being on my own is the default position.
In all of that, I recognise that I’m “lucky“. I’ve come through this year OK, with far less damage than most people have suffered – whether that’s realising their lives are more lonely than they thought, being ill (or watching others being ill), or just seeing things change so much and feeling insecure because everything “normal” has suddenly tilted beyond recognition.
I sort-of understand that desire for everything to “go back to how it was“, but to me even that still carries a fair degree of self-delusion. Things have changed, and it’s (to me) far easier and smarter to embrace those changes and make progress with them (I hate the expression “the new normal”, but that’s what this is – even with vaccines and so on, there’ll still be major changes for the forseeable future)
I don’t know what 2021’s going to bring – although I don’t think it’s going to be a positive year – but I’m pretty sure I’ll get through it, same as I have this year. And all I can do is hope that the same is true for those I give a sod about.
Staying In Place
Posted: Mon 16 November, 2020 Filed under: Change, Covid, Domestic, Finances, Getting Organised, Thoughts Leave a comment »With everything else that’s going on, I’ve made the decision to stay in my current house for another year, and sorted out the tenancy agreement to that effect.
I’d been seriously looking at a couple of different locations (although still in the same region as I’m in currently) that would’ve worked, and enabled some other stuff to be a lot easier. It would also have been nice to have a slightly bigger place, as I’ve said before.
However, all the places that were available were at least double the price of the one I’m currently in, and weren’t making enough other things easier. Alongside that, the way things have been with Covid, and the upcoming clusterfuck formally known as Brexit, I ended up deciding that it was likely to be better/smarter to stay here, rather than over-extend things too much.
If nothing else, I’d be properly mortified to end up being in the shit because I’d moved to a better house and then everything else had gone to crap, knowing I could’ve still be in this little cheap(er) place.
So yeah, here for another year. That’s eight-and-a-half years now – by far the longest I’ve been in any one place since I left home.
For now, it still suits me enough. I’d like to move elsewhere, and I’ll look again come summer 2021, and see what happens in the meantime. If things are properly shit, I might stay again, but we’ll see.
Lockdown Weekend
Posted: Mon 9 November, 2020 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Getting Out More, Lockdown, Sport Leave a comment »This weekend was remarkably unproductive, and yet I’m actually OK with it for once.
I’d had a lot planned – initially I was going to be going to a restaurant in London, but I moved that forward by a couple of weeks – nothing about Lockdown, just that I saw the menu two weeks ago had some things I really wanted, and they couldn’t be certain they’d still be on by now, so I moved things around.
Once that had changed, I’d then lined up an archery coaching session on the Saturday, and we were due to have a competition shoot on Sunday. However, with the new Lockdown, archery is (for some fuckforsaken reason) specifically included in the “thou shalt not operate” lists, so all of that got cancelled too. I’ve no idea why outdoor archery isn’t allowed – even in competitions, no-one’s even close to each other, and certainly when I’ve been using the range on a Friday it’s just me using it. There’s certainly no issue with any of it being crowded!
So yes, I had lots of plans, and none of them happened – which is frustrating, to say the least.
However, it’s been good to have the downtime. I meant to do some stuff from home, and failed entirely to do so, but instead caught up on some reading, and did stuff that was exceptionally quiet and relaxed. It was pretty good, all things considered.
Birfday
Posted: Thu 5 November, 2020 Filed under: D4D™, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten) 2 Comments »Somehow, I’ve managed to make it to 49.
Forty-fucking-nine.
In my head, I’m still mid-twenties at best. (Until I go out with a group of mid-twenties people, at which point no, fucking hell, I’m not) But no, forty-bloody-nine is where I’m at.
Usually over the last few years I’ve done a list of what I’m planning to do in the next year, and what I’ve achieved in the past one. I’m not doing that this year on either side – 2020’s been such a horrendous clusterchuff in so many ways, and there’s not really any positive end in sight, so I’m looking more at spending the coming year figuring out some of that stuff.
Of course, 2021 could be (hell, is likely to be) even more of a grimdark shitscape than 2020, what with Brexit, Covid, America, and whatever else is hovering on the horizon, waiting to dump it’s crap over all of us.
And on that happy note, let’s get on with it.
Mileage Averages
Posted: Sun 1 November, 2020 Filed under: Domestic, Driving, Geeky Leave a comment »Having had the car MoT’d this month, it means I’ve had the poxy thing for four years now. And, with the online MOT record, I decided to have a look at the recorded mileages, just because I’m interested in useless information like that.
As it turns out, I’ve been pretty consistent…
| Year | Start Mileage | End Mileage | Total Mileage |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2016 – 2017 | 76,252 | 95,557 | 19,305 |
| 2017 – 2018 | 95,557 | 117,947 | 22,390 |
| 2018 – 2019 | 117,947 | 140,086 | 22,139 |
| 2019 – 2020 | 140,086 | 157,831 | 17,745 |
| Total for 4 years | 81,579 | ||
So even with my mileages being much reduced (because of more local contract etc. etc.) I still usually do around 22,000 miles a year. This year’s an (obvious and understandable) anomaly, but still comes in as being more than the “average” person does in a year.
I know it’s not really interesting to anyone except me, but still, such is life.
Decade
Posted: Wed 21 October, 2020 Filed under: Domestic, Introspective, Looking Back, Thoughts Leave a comment »Last month, for a couple of reasons, I was looking back in the archives, and realised it’s now just over a decade since Herself and I broke apart.
Obviously things have changed a lot in that time, and some of it’s been tough, but in general it’s been positive.
Time flies, and all that jazz.