Planning Ahead

File under “Has to be seen to be believed” :

You are Arsehole Boss. On a whim, you have decided to move your company from its current offices to ones in London, for no real reason except that you no longer want to be in the current location. You have signed the contract for a year’s lease of the new office. You still have a year of lease on the current office, but hey, that doesn’t matter, because you’re moving to London. You’ve spent the money on the current lease already – it doesn’t have to show up in this year’s accounts, so who cares?

Three days before everyone in the office moves to London, and all their equipment etc., you suddenly think to do a headcount, and figure out how many people are going to be in that London office.

The London office has room for 12 people – maybe 15 at a push. Your current plans involve a company that has 30-35 people within the next three months. You think “Oh shit

All of a sudden the office that was going to be abandoned and left empty has a use again. And some of the people who you’ve been giving job offers to, with the explicit location of “London” are going to be messed about, pissed off, or plain change their minds when you get round to telling them.

Laugh? I almost shat myself. You just couldn’t make this crap up – and if you wrote it as a comedy, everyone would say that the characters and situations were unbelievable.


8 Comments on “Planning Ahead”

  1. Pete says:

    Hang on: does this mean that the entire move is off, or that half of the people are going to be moving and the other half staying behind?

  2. Lyle says:

    The latter.

  3. Andy says:

    Excellent, why not (more than) double your property overheads instantly, makes perfect business sense – remind me to ask this guy for business advice when I set up my own company – NOT!

  4. Jann says:

    Cunty fucksticks!

  5. Lyle says:

    I’ll see your “cunty fucksticks” and raise you a “fuckwit bastard incompetent cockknocker”

  6. Pete says:

    Bright sides, though:

    1. You (Lyle) don’t have the long commute
    2. You (Lyle) don’t have to share an office with the tossy London sorts
    3. You (Lyle) can burn down the London office, extinguishing all the tossy London sorts, without also taking out any of the non-tossy non-London sorts.

  7. Gert says:

    The lease should show in the accounts for the year it applies to. It’s called the matching concept. Any other treatment of prepayments is plain wrong!

  8. Lyle says:

    I’m just reporting Arsehole Boss’s attitude, Gert. No intention of making it out to be the actual way things work, as opposed to the way they work in Arsehole Boss’s “mind”…


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