Tatty Cat

Way back in April last year, you may recall that Psycho Cat went to the vets to get the matted bits of fur shaved. As I said then, he’s a mucky little bastard – as yet I’ve still never seen him actually clean himself. I think he reckons that the dirty fur falls out, and that’s what keeps him *ahem* “clean”.

Come springtime, his fur gets all matted up into the feline equivalent of dreadlocks. It’s utterly revolting – if he’s deigned to let you stroke him (invariably at night, in bed, on dark sheets, so the white fur left afterwards looks as bad as possible) then you suddenly find your fingers caught in this lump of claggy fur. Utterly vile. And of course it makes it look like we don’t care for the crufty little git – other people on the street must be on the verge of calling the RSPCA half the time. (Mind you, if the RSPCA tried catching him, they’d need chainmail gloves, and faceshields)

Anyway, springtime has come, his fur’s disgusting, so today it was off to the vets for his de-matting. AKA “shaving the little git”. This involves a full anaesthetic for the cat, who is such a thug that when we make appointments for him at the vets, a bright red flashing warning comes up on their system about “teeth and claws” – the first time they tried it, the woman doing it needed stitches and a tetanus jab. Since then, the warning’s been in place. Can’t think why…

Of course, because of the general anaesthetic, we can’t feed him for 12 hours beforehand. So from 4am this morning he’s been starving, making as much noise as possible to get attention and get us to feed him. Not great on my first day back to work post-holiday. I could’ve throttled the little sod once he started running around under the bed and scratching the carpet to wake us up. But no, I was good.

I’m looking forward to seeing what they’ve done to him this time – I’ve asked again for a full poodle-esque trim, in the vain hope that he might be ashamed of the state he’s in, and maybe tidy himself up a bit, the dirty little fucker. I doubt they’ll do it though…