Pheasant Terrorism
Posted: Wed 26 March, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, News, People, Stupidity, Weirdness Leave a comment »Some days I pretty much despair of the human race. (OK, OK, most days. Nearly every day.)
Yesterday’s example was caused by this story in the BBC about a pheasant ‘terrorising’ people at a farm in Cambridgeshire.
From the story…
A delivery driver was trapped for 20 minutes after the bird blocked his way, flew at the bonnet then chased his van.
“One young girl was having her first driving lesson on our land and could not move the car because the pheasant would not leave it alone.”
“I don’t think we’ll see our delivery driver for a while either,” Mrs Hamilton added.
I’m sorry, but if you’re in a vehicle, and being ‘terrorised’ by a pheasant then
- You’re a pathetic wanker of the first order
- YOU’RE IN A CAR. Run over the sodding thing. Job done.
Lit
Posted: Thu 13 March, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, A428, BMW Drivers, Commuting, Driving, Fog, People, Travel, Weather, Weirdness Leave a comment »This morning’s drive in to work was foggy – foggy enough that you could see maybe three or four car-lengths ahead, and not much more.
So it left me quite gobsmacked to see how many drivers today weren’t bothering with their foglights – and in some cases without any lights on at all.
Considering how every pisswit fuck-knuckle in Christendom seems to put their fog lights on when it’s misty – and then leave them on for three damn days afterwards – it’s pretty amazing when you come across cars today (and particularly bloody silver ones) with no lights on at all.
What on earth are these drivers thinking? (And yes, I know, they’re not thinking) After all, it’s not like they can see any better than I could – I just don’t get the mindset of “Oh well, other people will be able to see me, even if I can’t see them”
I don’t mind people being stupid, inconsiderate, and fuck-witted. If they want to die on the road, that’s fine with me. What I do mind is the other people affected by those decisions. And that’s just cuntish.
Flickering
Posted: Tue 4 March, 2014 Filed under: Commuting, Cyclists, Driving, Health, People, Stupidity, Technology, Weirdness Leave a comment »As I’m now working in Cambridge, I’m seeing a lot more cyclists. And a question occurred to me…
If a cyclist has one of those flashing/strobing LED cycle-lamps at a high-flash-rate, and they ride towards a driver prone to epilepsy through strobing (which isn’t something one would normally/usually expect to encounter while driving) who is responsible for any damages etc. should that driver suffer a fit at the wheel?
I’ve seen four or five cyclists already with these super-bright LED lamps set to a *very* high strobe rate, and it just made me wonder…
Balconies
Posted: Wed 29 January, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Housing, London, People, Thoughts, Weirdness 3 Comments »Where I’m working in London this week, I’m in an office opposite an apartment block. (Which used to be known as a ‘block of flats’, but that’s not cool or trendy enough for people now) Personally I’d hate it, but that’s OK, I don’t live there.
What I don’t get about the building though is that certain windows have bars outside – I assume to look like they’ve got balconies. But all they are is the bars, there’s no outside space to them, they’re just a ‘feature’. But why? I don’t get the reasoning behind it. OK, you’ve a door you can open (into the flat/apartment) so I suppose it’s for ‘safety’ in case someone walked out of that door and fell to the street. But why have the door? It’s not even a sliding one, just a normal hinged doorway to fuck-all.
You might as well have done away with the ‘balcony’ and door completely, and just replaced it with a decent window. Same amount of ventilation, low-to-no risk of falling out (depending on the window style/opening) and no faffing about with the door protruding into the living space, and not having to look through a semi-barred window.
City-living is bloody strange on occasion.
The Writing On The Wall
Posted: Tue 21 January, 2014 Filed under: Charm School, People, Travel, Weirdness 2 Comments »Every so often I have to use a public toilet – and every time, my mind boggles at people.
Primarily, I really can’t understand the entire thing of writing numbers on the walls of the cubicles. I know the history of it, and the reasons, but times have changed – so does anyone ever actually call those numbers or make contact that way? I find it pretty unbelievable, to be honest. And even less so when it comes to those ones that say “Meet me here at 7pm on a Tuesday” – really? I just don’t believe it.
The other thing that boggles me is the state some people leave the bogs themselves in. I don’t know if they leave every shitter in the same way, or just leave public ones like it because there’s someone else who’ll clean it all up. But either way, it’s vile when you walk in to be greeted by piss on the walls/floor/seat, and even worse when the bowl is covered in a haze of shitty lumps. And of course there’s also the fuckers who leave a turd in the bowl unflushed , as if to say “Look on my mighty works, mortals, and despair!”
Finally, there’s the ones who cover the cubicle in bog-roll, although that is somewhat less offensive. (At least assuming it’s not used bog-roll, of course) Mind you, even then you can also end up with the dickweeds having also blocked the entire thing with bog-roll too, which just leads to overflowage and sharing the vileness.
It’s not everyone, of course. But there do seem to be a percentage of people who feel that all of this stuff is acceptable, because every time I go to a public toilet, there’s some remnant from some other dirty bugger.
I despair of people, I really do.
Bladder Control
Posted: Thu 9 January, 2014 Filed under: 1BEM, Cinema, People, Seeing Films, Thoughts, Weirdness Leave a comment »Last night I was at the cinema – of which more tomorrow – but I was reminded of something else that I’ve been meaning to write about for a while. And that’s this – why are so many people incapable of controlling themselves and sitting still for a couple of hours?
OK, in this case it was a viewing specifically for Unlimited Card holders at the local Cineworld. This meant that the viewing was free, and so perhaps there’s not that same “perception of value”. I don’t know. Mind you, this is something that’s been bugging me for a while, and not just at Cineworlds, so I assume that it also happens even when everyone’s paid to see the damn film.
I wasn’t actually counting, but in that two-and-a-quarter hour film, there must’ve been a good thirty people who went out and then came back in. I assume a fair number of those were toilet breaks – potentially a couple got calls, or had messages they needed to reply to, I suppose. (I’m in a semi-charitable mood today) And I’m also open to believe that a couple might’ve had medical conditions that meant they had less control over their bladders.
But really – how has this become a thing? If you can’t sit and watch a film without taking a break, or needing a piss, then surely there’s something wrong? Even if you’ve consumed that whole bucket of Coke you purchased, surely you can still contain yourself for a couple of hours?