Premature

Posted: Mon 27 November, 2006 | Author: | Filed under: Cynicism, Sweary, Travel, Work-related | 1 Comment »

Yes, I knew I was cursing it by banging on about it being the last time I had to do that fucking train journey.

Life, you utter, utter bastard.

I got up at the usual time, did all the normal domestic gubbins – preparing breakfast, letting Hound out into the back garden, blah blah – then checked the local news for travel. Uh-oh. “Severe problems on the Reading – Waterloo route, due to over-running engineering works”. Arses. Check the train times on the XDA (I love useful little services like the train times via Kizoom) and yep, my normal train isn’t just delayed, it’s fucking cancelled.

As are lots of others from earlier in the morning. So I could get the (still delayed) 8:02, but that’ll be rigid with epically pissed-off people, and I just can’t be bothered. So I leave the house at 8:10, get the 8:30 train instead, which was (initially) a bloody good plan. You see, the 8:02 had actually been delayed by twenty minutes, so it was absolutely stuffed with people. Thankfully, not one of them had the brains to say “Hang on, there’s another one in ten minutes, and that’ll be just about empty, as everyone and his Uncle’s on this one” So the 8:30 was pretty quiet for the most part.

However. The engineering works were still over-running, so we ended up fucking about, getting to Twickenham, then re-rerouting through Kingston (wherever the shit that is) and Wimbledon in order to get to Clapham Junction – and because everything was going that route, we travelled at a snail’s pace.

Eventually, at 10:30 we got to Clapham Junction. At which point the service was cancelled, because someone had collapsed on the train, and needed medical attention. Now, I’m not a ghoul, and it was obviously pretty severe – put it this way, it’s the first time I’ve ever heard the guard put a call out for “any medical personnel on the train”. I just can’t believe the number of self-centred smug fuckers who just tutted and sighed at this news, like whoever had collapsed had done it just to spite them, you know, because the train was already late, so why not collapse, and put their day right in the shitter? Cunts.

Anyway, eventually got to Kings Cross, and a quiet train direct to Cambridge. Four and a quarter hours for a journey that normally takes two and a half at worst.

Wheels

Posted: Mon 2 October, 2006 | Author: | Filed under: Sweary, Thoughts, Travel | 2 Comments »

Following today’s journey, I’m now fully convinced that everyone who uses a small wheeled suitcase should be summarily executed.

I don’t mind (as much) with the big “two weeks in Spain” type wheeled suitcases, but the littler ones that seem to be deemed “carry-on” are just a pain in the arse. Or ankles. People just seem to drag them without any thought or consideration, and definitely don’t realise that they’re suddenly three times as long as they normally are, and thus can’t squeeze through the same gaps in the crowd.

I find now that if someone does hit me with their poxy little pull-along toy, a hefty kick seems to get the message across. (Kicking the pull-along, not the person, I should point out) But all the same, summary execution seems to be a better bet. After all, if it’s only that size, the lazy fuckers can carry the poxy things. I’m carrying a week’s worth of clothing etc. in a holdall (of which more later, I suspect) and have no problem. In fact, I suspect that half the problem with these pull-along things is that actually the solid handle, base, and wheels actually make the things so heavy that it is hard to carry them. Whereas a backpack, or simple carry-on satchel type thing would be fine.

Wanker

Posted: Sun 17 September, 2006 | Author: | Filed under: Cynicism, Green, Sweary, Thinking About..., Thoughts | 3 Comments »

I wrote about this fucking idiot before. A man “addicted” to branded clothes, he’s now going to burn all his branded possessions, and then write a book about his experiences of trying to live brand-free.

What an utter, utter cunt.

There are plenty of ways that this tosser could use to get rid of these items instead of burning them. He could give them away to charty shops. He could sell them off to one of the companies that re-sell second-hand clothes, particularly those with designer labels. Hell, he could just go and shove them all in a clothing recycling bin.

But no, this fucker has to make a show of it, so he’s going to burn them. Not content with being a shallow-minded cunt in the first place, he’s now tagged himself as an egotistical self-centred cunt who’s still shallow-minded as well.

Tosser.

Bureaucracy

Posted: Sat 16 September, 2006 | Author: | Filed under: Getting Organised, Sweary, Travel | Leave a comment »

Because of the work I’ll be doing in Cambridge, and the fact I’m going to be there from Monday-Friday for at least the next three to six months, I was looking at joining the library in Cambridge, rather than lugging books around all the time. Saves weight, time, and money. So I check out the page on the local authority’s website about the requirements for joining the library. OK, groovy.

You can join the library at any age if you:

  • are a permanent resident of Cambridgeshire
  • work or study in Cambridgeshire
  • are visiting Cambridgeshire

Great, I’ll be working there, so that’s cool – and I fill in the online form to get it sorted before I get up there. Blah blah, Section Two “For those not living permanently in Cambridgeshire” – so is this address the same as my permanent one, or for where I’ll be staying? Not much point being the latter, as it’s only a B&B…
Get a response back from the library service…

Dear [Lyle]
Thank you for your application to join Cambridgeshire Libraries
I regret to inform you that we cannot process your request owing to the fact that you are not resident in Cambridgeshire or one of our adjoining counties
I refer you to our web page “can anyone join the library?”

No shit, that’s why I filled in the fucking section called “for those not living permanently in Cambridgeshire”.

Needless to say, I’ve sent back a snotty reply explaining this. Should be fun to see the response…

Database driven

Posted: Sat 12 August, 2006 | Author: | Filed under: Depression, Own Business, Sweary, Work-related | Leave a comment »

Recently I’ve been building a very heavy database-driven website for a private clown client, which has a lot of interactivity and social-networking features in it. As usual, I’ve set it up to be hosted at the start by 34sp, who I’ve never had any problems with, and who I tend to use for most of my sites and clients.

Anyway, because of problems on this new site (one of the so-called ‘expert’ designers managed to upload 90Mb of images on to the site ‘by mistake’) we went over the 150Mb file quota during the week. Raising this problem with the person who has commissioned the entire project, she had a bit of a panic, and started asking how come we’d used up so much webspace already, and would there be enough once the site goes fully live, etc. etc. Nothing special, just a standard tizz.

But of course the ‘expert’ designers had to stick their oar in, and say “Oh, well we normally use the Easyspace ‘Gold’ hosting package, which gives us 500Mb of space, and works for the sites we do”.

My response was – shall we say – succinct.

Hey, great – let’s move a database-driven website to a hosting company package that doesn’t have a database as part of it.

I haven’t heard anything else from them since. I wonder why?

Carriers

Posted: Mon 7 August, 2006 | Author: | Filed under: Green, Sweary, Thoughts | 6 Comments »

So, Tesco are getting customers to earn loyalty points by not using new plastic bags in a move designed to cut waste, eh?

First of all, it’d help if when you do the (supposedly greener, as you’re not driving to the supermarket, and they can do multiple deliveries on one run) shopping online, they don’t deliver everything in fucking plastic bags. Particularly when you end up with so many bags with just one bloody item in them. That’d help a lot more.

And why not “just” make bags that actually, you know, biodegrade? Rather than lasting for the next 150 years in a sodding landfill? Waitrose had them at least fifteen years ago, and they were photodegradeable – slight flaw, as on sunny days they did have a nasty habit of breaking before you got home – but still, it was done fifteen sodding years ago.

If Tesco (and all the others) were actually bothered, instead of just paying lip service to the entire Green thing, then they’d buy in degradeable plastic bags, or do a far better job of promoting their “bag for life” scheme. (which seems to have done a bit of a disappearing act of late) But as it is, well, it’s just a buzzword, a theme for the moment, and so long as they’re seen to be paying lip service to it, and so long as it doesn’t actually cost them a fucking penny, then they’ll be all for this kind of bullshit PR stunt…

Superman Ain’t Returning

Posted: Tue 1 August, 2006 | Author: | Filed under: Reviews(ish), Sweary | Leave a comment »

So I suppose it’s only fair to give a slightly more balanced review than I did yesterday of Superman Returns.

First of all, it’s awesomely, glacially, earth-shatteringly slow. Which is never a good thing in a comic-book adaptation. We’re talking 145 minutes – two and a half hours – and my god, does it feel every minute of that. We weren’t the only ones to be saying “Thank christ that’s over” when we eventually stumbled to the end.

Some spoilers and/or discussion follow, so if you don’t want to know, don’t click for more… Read the rest of this entry »

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →