Shit for Brains
Posted: Fri 20 August, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, News, Offensive Repetition, People, Sweary, Thoughts 1 Comment »I love the story on the BBC this week about a council who’ve used the word “shit” in their adverts about dog-fouling. (even though it’s starred out to “S**T”) Supposedly a number of people have complained about the word “S**T” appearing in print. Which strikes me as pretty Mary Whitehouse at the best of times.
Way back when I was working with the council in Oldham, this was something that we discussed heavily. One of my projects there was working on a lexicon of expressions that people actually used, and then translating them into council-ese. For example “roadworks” becomes “Highways maintenance”, “bins” becomes “refuse collection” and the like. I always said – and could prove with the search logs (pardon the pun) – that “dog shit” was the most common search-term when people were looking for information about dog-fouling, reporting issues with dog-shit etc. But the powers-that-be in the council at the time were very sure – despite all the evidence to the contrary – that having “shit” in the lexicon was A Bad Thing, and would lead to Bad Press – another Very Bad Thing. Considering that most people at the time used the word “Shit” as pretty much synonymous with that council in general anyway, I always figured they were on a hiding to nothing on that one.
Personally I could never figure out why people thought – and obviously still do think – that councils can’t use words like shit, when they’re the ones that most (if not all) of their constituents/inhabitants use.
*sigh* People are strange.
Buzzy
Posted: Wed 21 July, 2010 Filed under: Animals, Domestic, Norfolk, Sweary Leave a comment »I’m sure I’ve mentioned this in previous years, but in Summer our house gets a real influx of houseflies – particularly in the kitchen, but really through the place. And they drive me mad.
We can’t find a reason for them coming in – the walls have been filled with cavity-wall insulation, the kitchen units have been replaced, nothing’s dead/rotting/stinking/festering in the kitchen or house at all, and yet every year we get all these sodding flies. It’s not quite “Biblical Plague” of the buzzy little bastards, but it’s enough to drive me mental.
Hound’s not keen on them either – collies are renowned for their fly-chasing activities, so she keeps on chasing them and trying to eat them – and in that aspect I guess I must be part-collie. I use a fly-swatter rather than trying to catch the little flying shitbags in my mouth, but I admit I can get quite obsessive about it.
I don’t know what else we can do, though. Fly-paper is bloody ugly, the ultra-viole(n)t bugzappers are monstrous on power, and fly-spray’s even worse than fly-swatters- although spray doesn’t leave bug-bits on the walls/ceiling.
I think it’s just one of those things with living in the area – other people we know have similar issues here, so it’s not just our place. That’s some kind of reassurance, I suppose. Not much, though.
Motherf…..
Posted: Sat 1 May, 2010 Filed under: Cynicism, People, Sweary Leave a comment »I love Tim Minchin – not all the time, but when he hits a target he really hits it.
Do NOT play the video if you’re offended by “Fuck”, or have serious positive views/beliefs about Catholicism, the Pope, and the entire Paedophile Priests thing.
Tim Minchin’s Pope Song
If not though, go for your life. You’ll need speakers on, but man is it worth it.
Ha
Posted: Thu 19 November, 2009 Filed under: Advertising, Sweary Leave a comment »
Well, can you?
I promise, it wasn’t me that wrote this. I just wish it had been.
Caught on your own spike
Posted: Fri 13 November, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Cynicism, News, Sweary 1 Comment »Following on from all the guff this week about Gordon Brown supposedly mis-spelling the name of Jamie Janes in a letter of condolence (and it really does take a special kind of sanity/logic to name your child with almost-matching first and surnames, doesn’t it?) and the Sun’s hate campaign about it, I just love this…
Yes, they mis-spelled it too
But of course it’s OK for the Sun to mis-spell it (as “Jones”, in case anyone cared) and not incur the wrath of – um – The Sun.
Hypocritical fuckers.
Unsalted
Posted: Sat 19 September, 2009 Filed under: 1BEM, Health, Norfolk, People, Stupidity, Sweary, Thoughts Leave a comment »Sometimes you read a story and your mind boggles right out of its tiny capsule.
In this case, it’s a story about Norfolk’s Trading Standards launching a campaign to get people to reduce their salt intake. “How?”, I hear you cry. Well, like this…
New saltshakers with fewer holes have provided for fish and chip shops in Norfolk to help cut salt consumption. The saltshakers only have five holes and dispense 50% less salt than the usual 17-hole versions.
What ?!?
So this ‘campaign’ is only in the 400-ish fish-and-chip places in Norfolk. If you’re in a chippy, I somehow suspect that the salt in it is far less of a long-term risk than the amount of fat that’s going into that meal. But no, we’ll focus on the salt. Genius.
And what the fuck has it got to do with Trading Standards? Are people no longer judged to have enough personal responsibility to manage their own salt levels on their food?
I despair. I truly do.