Masterchef – Deja Vu

In similar vein to this post from last year, it’s worth pointing out that Masterchef is back on BBC2 again.

And still the contestants drive me potty with all the guff about “[Tristan] is aiming to change jobs, and go from being a stockbroker to living his dream by cooking”. No-one says “Well why don’t you fucking try it out properly first?” or “Wouldn’t it be an idea to cook for more than yourself?“. One bell-end last week claimed that he wanted to open “something like the Manoir, a restaurant with rooms” – I think he went out at the end of the first round, for doing something a) dull or b) raw. After a while they all blend into one, I’m afraid.

The judges don’t do much for me either. Both John Torode and Greg Wallace come across as pompous prats – although some of that could be the scripting too – but if I hear them saying “They’re doing a meal they’ve never cooked before. In a semi-final! Shocking!” I’ll just spit.

Yet I still watch the damn thing – even though a good 40% of it drives me crackers. (On this point, Sky+ is a godsend – it’s great being able to fast-forward through the repetition, ‘discussion’ of who stays in etc., and all the intermediate Pop Idol/X-Factor guff of contestants calling home to say they got through etc.) I find the ideas people have are interesting, the pro-kitchens can be interesting – and/or make me think “I would never go there to eat” – and the execution of the ideas and recipes is something I do enjoy watching. I’ve always been in awe of the people who can go to a kitchen cupboard and just pick five or six items and put them together, knowing that they’ll work out as a good meal. My mum could do that easily, Herself can do so too, and so can other friends but to me it’s just an awesome talent that I simply don’t possess.

I can cook – but I need a recipe, or some kind of inspiration to work from. Sometimes when watching Masterchef I can come up with what I’d do with the selection of ingredients on offer, but for me it’s more a memory thing, something I’ve seen in another magazine or recipe book. But I know I don’t have the knowledge – more accurately, the inbuilt/memorised knowledge – of the necessary methods in order to get to that final result.