Posted: Sat 9 August, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Bankruptcy, Cynicism, Domestic, Introspective, Thoughts |
Since the bankruptcy – and to a slightly lesser degree beforehand – I’ve noticed that I have a tendency to stockpile things a little bit. Nothing hoarder-esque or anything, but just as a backup, a “just in case”.
I’ve noticed that I now tend to have that backup as being roughly a month’s worth of whatever.
For example,
- I could get by for a month on the food I have in cupboards, freezer etc. without needing to shop.
- I could manage on savings (already) for a month or so if jobs were to go tits-up. That’s bills and the domestic stuff – petrol would be slightly more of an issue, but only slightly.
It’s not an obsession, or even obsessive behaviour – it’s an awareness of what can happen, and protecting against it.
Just an odd thing I’ve noticed myself doing more.
Posted: Sun 11 May, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Domestic, Introspective, People, Personality, Thoughts |
In many ways, I try to be as open-minded and non-judgemental as possible. That doesn’t apply in certain sectors – BMW drivers, idiocy, and bigots in general – but for the most part I accept peoples lives as their own, and I’m happy with that.
For whatever reason, I’ve also ended up with a number of friends in polyamorous relationships – all of whom I’m ridiculously proud of for a range of reasons.
It does all make me think though. I know that polyamory isn’t for me – I wouldn’t rule out being with someone who was in a poly relationship with someone else, but I also know that multiple partners isn’t something that would work for me. However, a lot of the time I’m pretty sure that monogamy isn’t really for me either.
I can quite happily live with being single, with not being in a relationship at all. I’m good with my own time and space, with my own life.
Does that make me selfish? Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not about not sharing or anything, or most of the usual selfish motivators – I’m just comfortable and content on my own.
And if there’s polyamory and monogamy then surely there’s also a term for someone who’s really not bothered by relationships. It’s not asexual per se, but perhaps agamy – although that sounds weird in a different way.
Regardless, if there’s any term that’ll fit me, I suspect it’s just that – agamous.
Posted: Tue 29 April, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: 1BEM, Domestic, Health, Introspective, Work-related |
It’s a new week, and a new contract. The most recent one in Cambridge has been – hmmm, how to put this? – not fun at all. Chaotically disorganised would be another way to put it – they weren’t even aware that the contract came to a close last Friday. Not a word was said, even on the last day – and I got a call on the Monday asking where I was.
So yeah, it’s not been overly fun, and I’m glad to be done with it.
The downside though, is that I’m now doing my standard thing of having relaxed post-contract, which leaves me open and vulnerable to any bugs that happen to be lurking around. My resistance is dog-shit, because I’ve been stressed with work etc., and the reduction of stress increases the likelihood of my feeling like death warmed up for a few days.
If I were smart I’d book a few days out between each contract, just to let myself get back on an even keel. Indeed, I might even start thinking about doing exactly that.
Of course, if I were really smart, I wouldn’t work for shithead companies, and/or wouldn’t get stressed about doing so. But meanwhile, back in reality…
It’s nothing life-threatening – it never is – and this time it’s just (another) rotten stinking cold. I’ll get over it – I always do – and I’ll try to not make things overly dramatic in the meantime.
But Lordy, I do wish I had enough common sense to spot those stress-levels ahead of time.
Posted: Thu 27 March, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Domestic, Introspective, People, Personality, Work-related |
As it turns out (and I do need to remind myself of this more often, and/or not take on the jobs) I really don’t understand big companies. I don’t have the necessary mindset for working within them, and I simply don’t get how they work. All of this also probably contributes to explaining why I don’t want to work in them too often, and why this current contract won’t be being extended by me.
I like small companies – even medium-sized ones. I like the ability to bypass management (if it even exists) and talk direct to business owners/directors, and make a difference. I like knowing that (mostly) the people I work with are productive, and know what the hell they’re doing.
In a big company, I’m a fish out of water. It seems like productivity becomes something that’s talked about and aimed for, but isn’t actually achieved. Ever. I don’t get the mindset where people would rather have meetings (and sometimes meetings about meetings) in order to establish who will be to blame if a project goes wrong, rather than just getting on and doing the project. I don’t get how productivity seems to become a way of avoiding work, because there’s “so much” other stuff to do.
Currently I’m working in a huge barn of an office, with probably 100-150 people in it. Yet they seem to collectively do less than the previous company I worked with, which had six people in a room. People here seem happy to be bums on seats, to do as little as possible on a daily basis and simply mark time ’til they can a) go home or b) retire. It’s not a mindset I can work with, let alone live with. I want – no, if I’m honest I need – to be doing stuff, to create things that work, that make life easier.
I needed to write this so I can look back on it, so I can remember just why I don’t like working with big faceless companies, the behemoths of the world – regardless of the industry they ‘specialise’ in.
Posted: Wed 22 January, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Introspective, Own Business, People, Sociable, Thoughts, Work-related |
Assuming that everything comes through OK (I’m still awaiting final confirmation) one of the interesting things about the new job will be how I handle working from home (WFH) for four days a week.
I know I gripe (regularly) about colleagues and so on, so in some ways it might be nice to not have to deal with people for a while. But at the same time it is good to have some social contact, which wouldn’t necessarily be the case with a WFH role.
Time will tell, I’ll find out how I do. I’ve still got other options, potentially including renting an office space that I can share and get some social interactions in that way. We’ll see.
Posted: Sat 11 January, 2014 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: 2013/14, Creativity, Domestic, Getting Organised, Introspective, Own Business, Project 42, Work-related |
One of the things I’m truly bad at is trying to find a balance in my life. I keep trying, and struggling to do so, and then giving up and falling by the wayside once more. I know that the way I live and work isn’t overly balanced (or settled, but that’s another set of posts – past, present and future).
At the moment I’m in another “trying” phase. (And yes, yes, I know, “I’m always trying”. Blah blah. Pipe down at the back) I’d like things to be a bit more balanced, to have the time and space to do stuff, and to be able to get going on a couple of projects that I keep on not getting round to.
In fairness, I’m (currently) doing better than usual. I’m getting most of the stuff done that I want to – although a couple of things have slipped through the cracks so far – and trying to build up a schedule, or at least a routine, that’ll allow me to deal with most things.
This is mainly being achieved by dint of
- to-do lists (as written about previously)
- forcing myself to still do the bits I’m not keen on
- knowing that if I don’t, I’ll just be annoyed at myself, and have no sodding excuses
But is that balanced? No, not really. I’m still trying to do more stuff for myself as well – or at least recognise the need for some downtime – but as always that’s the bit that sort of fails. I’ll aim to improve it over the span of the year, but for now there’s things that need to be done. (Or at least started off properly)
All told, it’s been a fairly good start to the year. Let’s see if it continues…
Posted: Sat 30 November, 2013 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Commuting, Domestic, Driving, Introspective, People, Personality, Thoughts, Travel |
Over the last few weeks I’ve been doing (again) a lot of driving, and the next week or so isn’t looking any different. (For example, next Friday is looking to be 350-400 miles on its own, with another 250-300 on the Sunday, minimum)
As always, when I drive I tend to be a Type-A personality, wanting to stop the sodding about and just get there. That’s par for the course with me, just get the job done and get on with it. And yes, that’s kind-of related to that laziness I mentioned in yesterday’s post.
However, when/if I get stuck in traffic jams or behind vehicles I can’t get past (road conditions, traffic, whatever) then I’m far more of a Type-B personality, and don’t get stressed or annoyed about it. It’s a situation I can do nothing about, I can’t go anywhere or change anything, so I just have to accept it until I can change it.
It is (I understand) a bit of an odd state of affairs to be quite so middle-of-the-road on these personality types, where I can change from one to the other without apparent effect. I don’t mind though – it means I’m less stressed-out than pure Type-As, and more effective/productive (usually) than the pure Type-Bs.
Besides, it’s not like me to be the stereotypical anything, so it fits in quite well with that aspect as well…