Lists

Posted: Mon 21 December, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: 2015/16, D4D™, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Getting Organised, Introspective | Leave a comment »

As we come to the end of 2015, I’m spending some time making notes, lists, and plans for what I want to get done in 2016. It’s not resolutions or anything similar, but I’ve found over the last couple of years that having lists for things helps me to keep it all straight in my head over the year.

The lists aren’t hard-and-fast structures, more like reminders and ‘this is the stuff you wanted to do’ – but it’s a method that I’ve found to be working pretty well for me. I never used to think it would, that I’m not that organised and so on, but it’s been a surprise.

I don’t know if it’s usual, but I have two formats for the lists – my day-to-day ones sit on the mobile, but the bigger plans for the year tend to sit in my Notebook Of Doom.

A lot of the difference is in how things get crossed off, if I’m honest. Day-to-day “what I’m doing this week” works with just a tick gesture on the phone list, and that’s fine. But there’s more of an emotional and mental ‘achievement’ when it comes to physically crossing things off on a piece of paper, in a notebook, it’s a gesture of finality, of “done that”, which I really like.

Even though I don’t necessarily write about everything on here any more (and there’s some thoughts about that, which I’ll probably write and update over the Festering Season) and I certainly won’t list everything here, there’s a lot of stuff on the lists for 2016, which needs some thought and prioritising a bit.

I tend to over-load the lists too, give myself more on the plans than I’m likely to actually manage. But I’d rather have items as a backup for if I get everything done, or when a planned thing turns out to be unattainable and it’s time for Plan B/C/D.

Regardless, I’m looking forward to crossing off a lot of those items.

A Lack of Filters

Posted: Sat 17 October, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Domestic, Introspective, People, Work-related | 2 Comments »

As I’ve observed before, I tend to know a lot more about my surroundings – particularly my work-based ones – than most of the people around me.  I know what’s going on, who’s doing what, where people are based, and the general minutiae of office-based life.  (The same applies in non-work life as well, but to a slightly lesser degree)

I also tend to be a lot tetchier and easily annoyed when in work places.

It’s only in the last couple of weeks, though, that it’s clicked a bit on how both these things are connected.

Basically, I have a bit of an inability to filter things out – which means I’m always aware of what’s going on around me, of other conversations and so on, even when primarily focused on something else (such as the actual work I’m doing) and that’s generally how I get to know what’s occurring. Well, that and actually talking to people – which is definitely non-stereotypical behaviour among techies.

However, that also means I can’t filter out banality, inane garbage, and really fucking annoying noises – hence also being tetchier and more easily annoyed.

This all really clicked last week, when my current (usually peaceful) office was disturbed by a bunch of fuckknuckles shredding/chipping branches on the trees outside.  Even through closed double-glazed windows, I could still hear it, and it drove me crackers.  I’ve been aware of similar distractions before – and Herself was diagnosed years back with a similar thing where she couldn’t filter noises properly, so I’m aware of it on that level too.

Anyway, the same has applied on other days, but the noise of the chipper certainly got to me more than usual – and made me think about what was happening.

Completely irrelevant and uninteresting to anyone else, I know. But it interested me.

Stasis – At Peace

Posted: Fri 25 September, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: 2014/15, 2015 vs 2014, D4D™, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Introspective, Thoughts, Work-related, Write More, Writing | 2 Comments »

While I was wandering around London last weekend, I had the time to do some thinking about the whole ‘not feeling the need to move on’ thing, which was much-needed.

There’s a lot of reasons for not feeling the need to move on at the moment, as I’ve written about already. I won’t bother with all those again, because this one is actually something else, something I hadn’t really looked into massively.

Basically, at the moment I’m really quite content with life and how it’s shaping up.

That has it’s good and bad aspects, for sure. Obviously it’s good that I’m content, that I’m at peace with things, and not yearning for change. It’s not something I’m massively familiar with, it’s all quite new, but I’m not going to complain.

On the downside, it also means I’m not feeling a huge level of urgency about things – certainly not for moving, but also with life in general. It’s kind-of all steady at the moment, which is fine for the time being. I don’t know that I want it to stay like that long-term though.

I am a lot less angry and irritable, though – and that’s primarily a good thing. I’ve noticed, looking back, how much D4D™ has changed over that time, looking back to when I started vs now. Life’s a lot calmer – but it’s also quite a lot duller.

Sure, people still piss me off. Life still pisses me off. But it seems (at the moment) to wash off again pretty quickly. I don’t feel the need to rant, to vent things out when I do get pissed off. (Well, not as much, anyway) But that also makes D4D™ less ranty, less annoyed, and somehow less amusing – both for me, and for anyone else still reading this rubbish.

It also goes some way to explaining (I realised) why I’m having problems getting going on some of the writing ideas. I’m not angry enough, not needing to vent out onto keyboard/paper. I need to find another way to do things, which may take time. We’ll see.

All told it’s a good thing, a sign of positive change – but it’s also going to have some knock-on effects, requiring some though and some further changes. That’ll take some time, and some sounding out of options. But it’s all good, and all entertaining.

Into August

Posted: Wed 5 August, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Bankruptcy, Change, D4D™, Domestic, Driving, Finances, Getting Organised, Health, Introspective, Looking Back, Thoughts, Weirdness | Leave a comment »

Somehow, we’re into August already. The year’s racing by (as usual) and here we are. August.

August is a funny (as in ‘odd’, not as in ‘ho ho’) month for me – for some reason it’s always been rather more eventful than others. It seems to be generally a month of change for me, in ways both negative and positive.

It’s definitely the month I get twitchy about, more than any other. I’m sure that’s because my parents first pointed out what a consistently change-laden month it was (which may have also gone some way to making it a bit more self-fulfilling) but I try to not focus on it. By that, I mean that I don’t consciously go “oh, I’ll do that in August”.  August just seems to happen.

As examples…

  • D4D™ got started in August. Not intentionally (well obviously it got started intentionally) in August – that was just when everything came together for it to happen
  • My bankruptcy was in August. Again, that’s just when it came about.
  • I finally passed my driving test in August.
  • I’ve had *lots* of job changes in August, contracts ending and so on.

This time round, it looks (so far) like things will be a lot calmer.

I was a bit twitchy, as my current work contract had an end date next week – and even though I was 99% sure it would extend again, there’s always that “But it’s August, and thus could bite me on the bum” nagging doubt. However, it’s been confirmed this week that it’ll extend again, through to October (which will mean I’ve been doing this one for a year) so that’s all good.

To the best of my knowledge I’ll be staying in the current house for at least another year. That’s the plan (and renewal isn’t ’til November, so not a concern) and I see no current reason to change it.

There’s currently nothing else of major import and change looking like it’ll happen.  I’ve got stuff planned for the month, but nothing change-laden.   All the same, during August I’ll be…

  • Doing a 10Km sponsored walk for Marie Curie
  • Seeing Benedict Cumberbatch in Hamlet (a happy surprise instance, brought about by a friend of a friend not being able to go)
  • Possibly another London visit, or alternative Day Trip
  • Sorting out (renewing) car insurance again

And there’s a bundle of other stuff as well, alongside the weekly working normality.

So with any luck, this August won’t be too eventful and change-laden. We’ll see.

Staying Still

Posted: Wed 24 June, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Day Trips, Domestic, Driving, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Introspective, Single Life, Travel, Weirdness | 1 Comment »

This coming weekend is my first one fully ‘at home’ in about three months. As such, I’m looking forward to it for downtime and some peace and quiet.

However, I feel almost guilty about staying home, and doing Not Much.

My brain keeps on saying “Oh, but you could do a day-trip to [x], [y] or [z]“.  And it’s right, I could. But I don’t really want to – except my brain doesn’t believe it.

It’s odd. One part of me wants to just have a down-weekend, a time of not doing a lot, and most emphatically not driving any significant distances. But the other part obviously does want me to do all of those things.

It’s a bit schizoid, so I guess I’ll have to wait and see which side wins out in the end. All very strange.

Reintegrating

Posted: Tue 23 June, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Getting Old(er), Getting Organised, Insomnia, Introspective, People, Thoughts, Work-related | Leave a comment »

By the time my contract comes to its (current) end date, I’ll have been ‘working from home’ for nine months, with only one day a week in the office.  It’s fair to say I’m getting pretty used to that kind of state of affairs, where I don’t have to deal with loads of idiot colleagues all day every working day.

So I’m already wondering what’ll happen when it comes to The Next Job, which will – pretty much certainly – involve being back on-site five days a week.   It’s going to be interesting, for sure.

It’s fair to say that I’ve already become very used to working on my own schedule and workload, and it suits me nicely. Even better, I don’t also have to hear the inane banter and chatter of other people, particularly about things I’ve no interest in – soap operas, X-factor, Big Brother and the like – or fuckwitted opinions with no basis in anything like reality.  I’ve become more acclimated to peaceful offices where I can have a radio on if I want (or not) and that’s about it.  I’m less stressed because of it, and generally less ratty. (And if I could then sort out my sleep patterns, all would be rosy in the world)

In short, it turns out to have suited my personality quite well.

As a result, I may end up focusing more on further jobs where ‘working from home’ is the primary – but there’s no guarantee that they’ll happen, or come up in a timely manner.  As always with my stuff, I’ll take whatever gets offered first, and work from there.

In honesty, I can’t say I’m looking forward to any return to full-on office-based work, but it’s something I’ll face up to as and when it happens.

Heavy Thoughts

Posted: Wed 3 June, 2015 | Author: | Filed under: 2015/16, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Food, Getting Organised, Health, Introspective, Thoughts, Weigh Less | 1 Comment »

Last year I did pretty well when it comes to weight loss, dropping two stones over the year. (It was actually a bit more, but then went up again towards the year end)  The plan this year is/was to do more of the same, and lose a similar amount of weight.

So far, that’s not gone well.  It stayed pretty stable through January to April, and then May was – for unknown reasons – really bad.  Basically, I had a real desire for sugar, coupled with a lot of idiot days, journeys, activities and meals. It felt pretty non-stop, and for whatever reason from that, my brain/body wanted sweet stuff.

When I weighed myself on Monday, I’d put on nearly a stone, which has really annoyed me. I’ve been pleased with the weight loss, so putting some back on is a bit of a setback.

But it’s only a setback, not a major issue. From here on things are a bit calmer again – although saying that I’ve still got weekend trips to Oxford, Manchester and London coming up – and I’ll reduce that sugar intake again. That has, I think, been the main trigger for weight gain.

I’m going to get back to doing some other stuff too, and seeing how things go.  But that’s the plan, and I’m not changing my goal for the year. I just have to work a bit harder than expected to get there…

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