Life Stripped Bare
Posted: Sun 10 July, 2016 Filed under: Domestic, Getting Organised, Introspective, People, Television, Thoughts Leave a comment »This week, Channel 4 had a one-off programme called “Life Stripped Bare“, which turned out to be pretty interesting.
It was basically about how people handle having no possessions. All their items, furnishing, clothing – everything – is taken away and put in storage, leaving them with absolutely nothing except the walls of their homes. It was slightly gratuitous, as all the participants had to strip off, leaving them to start the process completely naked. I understand the reasoning for it, but yeah, there seemed to be a lot more focus on that than was strictly necessary.
Each participant (a single woman, a house-share of a man and woman, and another house-share of two men and a woman) was allowed to get back one item a day from storage – although in all three cases, that storage unit was at least half a mile away, so they had to make the effort and journey in order to get those things. In autumn/winter. The first couple of days, where clothing was limited (to say the least) showed off their inventiveness all round – and the single woman in particular, whose first choice was a bolt of material, from which she fashioned a load of things, rather than just one thing.
It was interesting though, seeing what the people valued, what they couldn’t live without, and then what they did once everything was returned. Naturally, with the participants being late-twenties and early-thirties, one of the things they had real problems living without was their phones, and being pretty much permanently connected to the world.
It also made me think about my own attitudes to possessions, what I have, what I value, what I could live without if I chose to. I think a lot of that would come down to semantics, for example whether “books” counts as one possession as a whole, or whether each one is an individual possession.
All told, there’s a lot I could live without if I had to or chose to. I wouldn’t want to be reduced all the way to zero possessions – I don’t think anyone truly would – but I think I probably could handle a significant reduction if I had to.
Anyway, it was an interesting programme, and made for some interesting thoughts – which I may write more about at some point in the future. Or not. We’ll see.
Illness and Self-sufficiency
Posted: Mon 20 June, 2016 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Health, Introspective, Single Life, Thoughts Leave a comment »While I was ill last week, it occurred to me – I had a fair amount of time to contemplate things, after all – that really it’s one of the few times where I’m less good at being self-reliant.
Being unwell and alone is, frankly, No Fun at all. I think the only times in the last four-or-more years that I’ve wished I weren’t single, when I’ve thought “It would be nice to have someone” have been when I’ve been ill. Not even to be nursed, or anything pathetic like that, but just someone to be there and vaguely sympathetic.
Hell, I’m not even good at being ill, or being cared for when I am ill. It’s just a shitty time for being on one’s own.
And really, that’s no good reason for a relationship, or for stopping being single, is it?
Stocking Up
Posted: Mon 21 March, 2016 Filed under: Bankruptcy, Domestic, Getting Organised, Introspective, Rebuilding, Thoughts 1 Comment »Over the last year or so, I’ve noticed that I now have more back-up supplies of the stuff I use a lot of. This is mainly kitchen things – food, and household stuff – but it’s still interesting to me that it’s a behaviour/preference that has developed post-bankruptcy.
It’s not hoarding, by any means – it’s more that I find I want to have back-up items, so I’m never likely to run out.
I suspect a lot of it is still in the “what if everything went tits-up tomorrow” mindset, which I do find is also more prevalent in me than it used to be. Which is odd, as this current situation is about the best I’ve been in for a very long time. That probably makes sense though, in the context of those wonderful words of wisdom – “This too shall pass“. (It’s an all-purpose aphorism, good for hope in times of need, and a reminder of drought in times of plenty, and has been one of my favourites over the years)
I’ve no idea whether this preference for back-up supplies will fade out again or not – it’ll probably depend on how things go over the rest of this year, but equally I have no problem with it if it does stay around, and allows me to have just that extra little safety buffer.
Doing Nothing
Posted: Sun 20 March, 2016 Filed under: Domestic, Getting Organised, Health, House Work, Introspective, Single Life, Thoughts Leave a comment »This weekend was the closest I’ve come in a long time to doing nothing – it’s something I am *really* bad at, which I’m coming to terms with.
I try and keep busy on weekends, go out and do stuff, get things done, and that suits me. But I still get to the point (like recently) where I’ve been constantly busy and occupied for so damn long, it feels like I’m completely burned out and I need that down-time, a weekend or two where I don’t do much.
As has been observed before, I’ve been pretty much booked solid since about October, so I really needed a quiet time where I vegetated a bit, caught up on some of the more domestic things, and generally did a bit of recuperation. And that was the plan this weekend – I had some stuff I wanted to do (buying the trees, seeing a film, organising house stuff, ironing etc.) but the rest was meant to be downtime.
That plan was successful, I can’t deny. I did get all the planned stuff done, and I used a lot of downtime.
But it gets to now, 10pmish on Sunday, and I feel kind of guilty, kind of lazy. I know it’s been needed, and I mainly feel better for having not done much – but simultaneously, I feel like it’s been a bit of a waste.
It’s safe to say, I think, that I am phenomenally bad at doing nothing…
Seasonal Transitional
Posted: Fri 18 March, 2016 Filed under: Change, Depression, Domestic, Fog, Introspective, Sleep - or lack thereof, Thoughts, Weather Leave a comment »This time of year is hard for me. A lot of it is related to the change of the seasons, the transition between winter and spring/summer, the weather, and the resultant effect on my depression.
It’s weird, really. Through the winter, I expect the grey days and the lack of sunlight – it’s par for the course, and I’m used to handling it, fighting against depression and not wanting to go out. I get as much daylight as possible – currently helped by my office facing big windows, which maximises things, and walking at lunchtime – and basically just get through Winter the best I can.
Come spring though, things change. Days get longer, we have more hours of sunlight, and I know that the easier time is coming – but it’s not here yet. I’m tired from having kept the depression at bay all winter, and it hits me harder now as a result. I just don’t have the energy by now to keep on fighting with it. It’s the time when I completely lack motivation, and could happily stay in bed a lot longer, not wanting to get up.
I still do get up, and get things done. I make plans – not always conscious plans, but because I’m aware of the upcoming Glums, I make plans ahead of time, sometimes without realising just why I’m making them for that time. I still do stuff, and get on with it. But it’s definitely a lot harder than usual (as the actress said to the bishop) and a rough period.
It’s not helped by being (or at least feeling) greyer than usual. Yes, it’s getting light – but the last couple of weeks, it’s just been bright grey, with fairly thick mists and fogs most mornings. Again, a facet of the season, but one I find particularly tough to deal with. I’m OK with it being dark when I get up, I’m better with it being light and sunny when I get up. But this grey crap in between the two is just draining.
I’ll be OK. I’m used to this crap, and I can generally deal with it. I’m affected by it, but I won’t admit defeat to it.
Given a couple of weeks – usually once the clocks go forward at the end of the month – things will start to come back. But March is just a bit cruddy, with drained energy levels, and more blah than usual as a result.
Table for One
Posted: Wed 30 December, 2015 Filed under: 2015/16, Domestic, Five Year Plan (now Ten), Food, Introspective, Self-Doubt, Single Life, Solo Dining, Thoughts Leave a comment »This year, I’ve had a plan about going out and eating in restaurants on my own. It was a project for the year – and it’s been quite successful.
I’ve always had an insecurity about eating alone in restaurants – some people are like it about going to the cinema alone, or to the pub on their own. For me, it was restaurants.
But I’m really bad at having insecurities like that, and tend to face them head on. So I challenged myself to do more of it, to get comfortable (or at least familiar) with walking into places and just getting a table for one.
I started the year the way I wanted to go on, with New Years Eve in Cambridge as a single. It was a menu I wanted to try, so why not?
There’s been plenty of other places along the way – standard pubs etc., burger-based restaurants (no, not Mcdonalds!) and proper places, as well as Michelin-starred ones. It’s been a varied old year, and I’ve done a lot of solo dining.
It’s been a successful project, I think. It’s still not something I like doing, asking for a table for one, but it doesn’t worry me anywhere near as much, so that makes it a success.
I’ll carry on into 2016 with the same thing – there’s places already booked that I’m really looking forward to, and I’m sure there’ll be many others on a more randomised basis.