Posted: Thu 30 May, 2013 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Bankruptcy, Cynicism, Domestic, Getting Old(er), Getting Organised, Insomnia, Thoughts, Work-related |
Right now, life is (again) feeling like it’s time for some changes to start happening. (Yeah, as if there hadn’t been enough of them already)
I’m not going to be diving into anything too much, but it’s safe to say that I’m at the point of having Had Enough of some stuff.
Work is the particular source of ire at the moment, with the feeling of being far too pressurised and overloaded, aided and abetted by an HR department that seems to think dealing with people isn’t in their job description. I’m managing far too many projects – although keeping them just about on time and on-target, with only one glaringly delayed one that went out this week at long last – with too little recognition and acknowledgement. Additionally, for every project I close, two more come up, Hydra-like.
There’s other bits of life that are annoying me currently, but work is the main one – and the easiest one to change, I think. From there, I don’t know what’s next, but even if I increase my travel time, I suspect it’ll make life better just through the change happening.
Really though at the moment I’m just so fucking tired. I’m not depressed (or at least not massively so) just exhausted. I think burnout is just round the corner, and I need to address that soon, or it’ll happen.
Anyway, it’s just me whinging. Things will work out, change will happen.
Posted: Thu 11 October, 2012 | Author: Lyle | Filed under: Domestic, Insomnia, Sleep - or lack thereof, Weirdness |
One thing I’ve realised more and more over the last few months is that I dream very vividly – to the point that I can’t easily tell dreams from reality. It’s only when I think back and actually analyse things that I work out sometimes whether it’s been dream or real. That’s not helped by the fact that most of my dreams appear to be quite reality-based anyway. I’ve never dreamed about flying naked, or whatever.
Don’t get me wrong, they get very weird – but it’s extrapolations from reality, rather than just starting weird and getting worse.
Recently, I’ve also been vivid-dreaming that I’m awake. Or I think I have – it’s a possibility, anyway.
Either way, I’m either awake and not sleeping, or I’m asleep, dreaming I’m wide awake, and thus – um – dreaming about insomnia.
I honestly don’t know which it is. There are bits where I know I’ve been awake ’til ungodly hours – and have physically moved to pick up the clock and look at the time, for instance. Others, I’m less sure – I’ve felt like I’ve had no sleep, but then I also recall things that were definitely (with analysis) dreams.
It’s all very confusing, and not at all helpful.