Driving Thoughts

Posted: Thu 5 September, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Charm School, Commuting, Cynicism, Driving, Fog, People, Thoughts | Leave a comment »

A small selection of questions and thoughts from the drive in to work this morning…

1)  Look, if you’re driving so slowly in a car that trucks are pulling out to overtake you, maybe you should speed the fuck up, or get off the bloody road.

2) It’s foggy. So why are so many people driving

  1. without any lights at all or
  2. without their foglights on?

Usually it only takes a tiny piece of mist and they’re all in use, but this, with visibility of fuck-all-squared, there’s loads of people without lights. What the hell?

(And on a side note, bloody hell, I’m glad I’m not involved in this lot in Kent!)

3) Relatedly, why is it that once the fog clears up, you fuck-knuckle bastards leave your sodding foglights on ?  They’re there for a reason, remember to turn the cocking things off when they’re no longer necessary

4) Why is it that so-called “professional drivers” (articulated trucks, delivery stuff, coaches etc.) usually end up being the most dangerous ones on the road?

5) If that’s how you drive, Mr Driving Instructor, then I truly fear for the skills of your pupils.

6) If you can’t steer/handle a shopping trolley, it really scares me to know that you’ve arrived here by car, and will be driving home. Jesus.

 

Foggy

Posted: Fri 8 March, 2013 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, Fog, M1, People, Stupidity, Travel | Leave a comment »

Last night and this morning, my drive from/to work was extremely foggy.  This morning was worse, but even last night was pretty entertaining.

What always gets me though is the way people handle foggy conditions when they’re driving – particularly with regard to one of the banes of my life, foglights.

At night, it’s exceptionally rare to need foglights – they’re only for times where visibility is exceptionally low, and you’ve no chance of seeing the vehicle in front of you without the additional lights. The good old Highway Code says

Rule 236 : You MUST NOT use front or rear fog lights unless visibility is seriously reduced (see Rule 226)

Rule 226 : “You MUST use headlights when visibility is seriously reduced, generally when you cannot see for more than 100 metres (328 feet). You may also use front or rear fog lights but you MUST switch them off when visibility improves.”

With lights on at night, it’s exceptionally rare to not be able to see the car 100 metres ahead of you.Yet most of the fuckknuckle cunts are there, belting along with their foglights on.

And yet this morning, when it was actually really bad visibility, most people didn’t put their lights on at all, let alone the foglights.

I truly do not understand people.

Driving in the Fog

Posted: Thu 15 November, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Commuting, Driving, Fog, Work-related | 1 Comment »

This morning, as with several others recently, there was a really thick fog during my morning commute.

Personally, I don’t mind driving in fog – it’s not something that worries me. What does worry me, though, are the other drivers. I’ve driven on empty roads in fog which is fine, and I’ve done night drives in fog which are also fine.

But a rush-hour drive in fog is something else – it’s like people just activate the “fuckwit” button in their heads, and away we go.  Even worse, those fuckwits partake in polar opposites.  You either see people with foglights on when they don’t need to be (for instance, if you’re sat in a jam of slow-moving traffic, you don’t need your sodding fog-lights on) or with no lights on whatsoever. (That’s one that utterly boggles my mind – particularly the drivers of silver cars with no lights)  You either see people driving at 20mph or 80mph.

I don’t know why fog affects people this way – or maybe it just accentuates normal stupidity – but it makes the roads an interesting experience.

Tactical Driving

Posted: Wed 7 March, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Charm School, Commuting, Driving, MOTB | 6 Comments »

Over the last few days I’ve been taking part in a fun new game I’ll call “The Tactical Driving Game”.  It’s also called “the 505 game”, because it’s currently taking place on the A505.

Basically, find a route with several speed cameras on it. The A505 between Baldock and Royston is good for it, and I’d imagine that the A1 around Elkesley is another gem.

While driving at normal speed, end up with some titbag trying to intimidate you into shifting and letting them past.

Pull in when you get a chance – but particularly at certain spots along the road.

Titbag then goes blasting past, attempting to intimidate/impress with their speed/acceleration/car.

And *flash*, off goes the speed camera.

It’s a joy, I tell you. A joy.

You Park Like a Cunt

Posted: Tue 7 February, 2012 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Driving, Parking | 1 Comment »

(via @thehacksaw – thanks!)

I know I’ve posted one or two ( *ahem* ) pictures in the past of people parking like titbags, but this site is just brilliant. Sterling work.

Abandoned 2

Posted: Sun 20 September, 2009 | Author: | Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Charm School, Driving, Parking, People, Stupidity | 5 Comments »

The same Tesco carpark as my previous post about arsewit parking, but this time it’s just *so* much more impressive.  In this case, I’ve left the bell-end’s number-plate in view too. Screw it, parking like this needs to be recorded and credited to the correct knob-head.

Of course, it just had to be a BMW driver, didn’t it?

So bad it's hard to believe

So bad it's hard to believe

Yep, not even just half-over the line – but parked up in a completely hatched off zone right next to the pedestrian crossing.

In this case I can’t deny it, I went in and spoke to the staff about it – the driver got a telling-off from them too. Seems fair to me.

What Car? – Answered

Posted: Sat 20 September, 2008 | Author: | Filed under: BMW Drivers, Driving | Leave a comment »

Pretty much everyone guessed the correct answer about which car had made such a complete hash of a motorway junction.

Unshockingly, it was a BMW driver.

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