Decorative
Posted: Thu 18 December, 2014 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season Leave a comment »
I don’t know if I’m mellowing out, but for whatever reason I’m not finding myself taking offence at lots of the Christmas decorations that are around this year.
Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t like the damn things, but it seems like there’s either less of them this time – or at least less offensively chavvy ones – and on some occasions I’ve actually found myself liking a couple, which is very scary. (Round here, Woburn has used exclusively the white icicle-type lights, and they make the place look really nice, which is a shock to the system)
It could be about this area not being as chavtastic as Bracknell or Manchester, and not as remote as Norfolk – where people seemed to feel it was OK to use as many lights as possible if they were in the arse-end of nowhere and not affecting anyone else. I don’t know.
Regardless though, it’s meaning I’m not feeling quite as ranty and FFS-y as usual about Christmas lighting. It’s all very odd.
Bellwether
Posted: Wed 17 December, 2014 Filed under: Cynicism, Domestic, Driving, M1, M25, People, Thoughts 2 Comments »In a conversation the other day about driving – and motorway driving in particular – I was told I was too callous and calculating. I’m not sure this is true, but I’m interested…
So. When I’m driving motorways, and even more so at night, I usually let someone else go in front who’s driving faster than I am, and let them be the testing point for whether there are any active speed cameras or unmarked police cars around.
My theory is that if [Other Driver] blats past a camera and it flashes (or a car that then turns out to have concealed flashing lights on/in it) then that’s their problem rather than mine. And it gives me time to slow down before getting to the camera myself.
I was told that’s callous and calculating. I think it makes sense.
Surely I’m not the only driver that does this?
Spam Tendencies
Posted: Mon 15 December, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Geeky, People Leave a comment »One of my geekier interests (and there’s a long list, I know) is that I find it interesting what sort of subjects are used by spammers in their efforts to get people to click on their ropy emails/links.
I’ve got one email account that gets spammed rotten, and I look through it on occasion when I’ve nothing better to do.
In this case, I had a look on Saturday evening, while my brain was somewhat comatose, and found that the following seem to be currently popular…
- “You’ve been accepted onto this year’s ‘Who’s Who’ listings – click here to verify your details’ (appealing to the vanity of the vacuous who’ve done fuck-all)
- Working from home (no surprise there)
- ‘Super-low’ mortgage rates (again, no real surprise)
- And some weird shit about ‘this 57 year-old man cured Diabetes/Alzheimers/Cancer’ which I don’t quite get.
Of course there’s plenty of others, but I’d guesstimate that those four account for about 60% of the shit I receive on any given day…
Peter Gabriel – Wembley SSE Arena – The Downside
Posted: Fri 5 December, 2014 Filed under: Cynicism, Gigs, London, People, Reviews(ish), Sweary Leave a comment »While I loved the Peter Gabriel gig on Wednesday, it has to be said that the audience consisted of some of the biggest vagtrumpets known to Man.
I really don’t understand people – as has been said many times before – but I truly don’t get why on earth you would pay £50 or more per ticket and then spend the entire concert walking to and from the bar, or chatting to your friends instead of, you know, listening to the music and enjoying the concert.
It’s even worse when – as with the concert last night – it’s an all-seated gig, so these jizzmopping fuckflannels keep on disturbing the entire row in order to go and get drinks, come back with drinks, go to the bog, and whatever else they’re doing. It makes me want to punch them in the kidneys as they go past, just so they’ll stay in one place for a while.
Maybe I’m getting old, but I just can’t see the enjoyment in going to a gig and not really listening to the music at all.
(The one that really pissed me off though was the so-called fan, when they played one of the key tracks from that ‘So’ album said that he ‘had never heard that one before’, for fuck’s sake)
Black Friday
Posted: Fri 28 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Cynicism, Marketing 3 Comments »According to half the retailers in the UK, today is ‘Black Friday‘. Except, um, it’s not, not really.
Black Friday is the American equivalent of our Boxing Day sales. It’s the day after Thanksgiving, and is traditionally when American stores have all their bargains and super-deals, because it’s usually regarded as the start of the Christmas shopping season.
Obviously, Thanksgiving isn’t something that we in the UK celebrate – and if we did, it would be more about celebrating getting rid of those puritanical shitbags onto the Mayflower in the first place, going off to found the Plymouth Colony.
So Black Friday means the sum total of fuck-all squared, except as a marketing ploy for people to follow and buy yet more shit they don’t really need.
Racist Epilation
Posted: Tue 25 November, 2014 Filed under: Advertising, Bad Ads, Cynicism Leave a comment »One aspect of working from home on a regular basis is that sometimes I get to see daytime TV – including, on occasion, adverts.
In this case, I saw one for the Homedics Duo epilator, and then noticed the small print at the bottom of the screen.
Not effective on red, grey, or light blonde hair. Not suitable for black skin
Now seriously, what the actual fuck is that all about?
An epilator that won’t work on any hair except brown, black (or, one assumes, ‘dark blonde’- whatever the fuck that is) and not on black skin. Makes it pretty shit, surely?
Mind you, that’s probably why they’re advertising it on bloody daytime TV…