Hallowe’en
Posted: Wed 31 October, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Domestic, Festering Season, Hypocrisy, People, Thoughts, Weirdness 1 Comment »Yes, once again it’s that time of year.
The one where, after telling children all year that they shouldn’t talk to strangers, let along accept sweets etc. from strangers, it’s now acceptable – but only for one night (and the following weekend, of course) – to go knocking on doors and – um – accept sweets from strangers.
What could possibly go wrong?
I feel the same about Santa in the Festering Season – again, don’t talk to strangers, but oh, it’s ok this time because you’re talking to Santa and accepting presents. Hey, good move.
In short, ’tis the season to introduce your children to hypocrisy and double-standards. Enjoy.
YPLAC
Posted: Wed 12 September, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Driving, Parking | Tags: YPLAC Leave a comment »From the truly mighty You Park Like A Cunt (YPLAC) comes this absolute gem.
Nothing else needs be said
Phone Insurance – Rejected
Posted: Thu 28 June, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, Insurance, Stupidity 6 Comments »So, following on from yesterday’s post about the idiots at Homecare Insurance (part of CPP Insurance) it now turns out they’ve rejected my claim, because I “didn’t take reasonable precautions”.
Now, the phone is (supposedly) covered against accidental damage. But that apparently doesn’t include accidents. Of course, with insurance, the devil is in the details.
The actual circumstances of the phone’s demise are that I left it on the cistern of the toilet while I had a shower. While in the shower, I assume I received a call or a message and vibrated, because the poxy thing was in the toilet when I got out of the shower. And since then, it’s been knackered, for obvious reasons.
So apparently, I didn’t take enough care of the phone. Sure, I could have been in the bathroom, then left, put the phone somewhere else, and gone back in. I could have put the phone somewhere else in the bathroom – a windowsill, or whatever. But the fact is, I didn’t, I didn’t even think past “It’ll be fine on a flat surface”. Which it has been in the past. I didn’t think it’d fall in, because it was on a flat safe surface, not even close to the edge.
And this all means I didn’t (currently) take reasonable precautions. I freely admit to being an idiot, but the process wasn’t a careless or slapdash one – just a stupid one.
It’s being appealed, and the entire process is now also a full formal complaint.
But short story? If you’re insured with Homecare or CPP, don’t expect accidental damage to be covered, even when they say it is.
Venue Regulations
Posted: Wed 6 June, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, London Olympics, Thoughts | Tags: 2012, London, Olympics, Venue Regulations 2 Comments »(via Diamond Geezer)
Apparently, a bundle of new signs have gone up round the sites for the London Olympics, that look like this…
Venue Regulations sign
Only those Venue Regulations aren’t so easy to find on the site. Indeed, they’re in a PDF (thanks, Google) which is going to make it pretty difficult to read them before you go into the Venue.
And the list of regulations – which you’re accepting without being able to read them – is pretty draconian…
- ‘Games’ means the London 2012 Olympic Games and Paralympic Games
- ‘LOCOG’ means The London Organising Committee of the Olympic Games and Paralympic Games Limited, One Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, London E14 5LN
- ‘Person’ means an individual, partnership, firm, corporation, association, trust, unincorporated association or any other legal person
- ‘Terms and Conditions’ means the Terms and Conditions of Ticket Purchase, the terms of the Ticket Application Form (and accompanying Ticket Guide), LOCOG’s Ticketing privacy policy (full details of which are available at www.tickets.london2012.com) and any other rules brought to the attention of a Person prior to entry to the Venue
- ‘Venue’ means a location under the control of LOCOG including but not limited to all venues where a Games event is to be held
- Notwithstanding possession of any ticket, security pass or accreditation, permission to enter and to remain on the Venue is at the absolute discretion of LOCOG.
- LOCOG has the right to search any Person entering the Venue. Any Person who rejects a security search or refuses to comply with rules and security notices published by LOCOG from time to time will be refused entry to or ejected from the Venue.
- LOCOG reserves absolutely the right to refuse entry to or eject from the Venue any Person:
- failing, or (in LOCOG’s opinion) likely to fail, to comply with any of these Venue Regulations, the Terms and Conditions or any instruction issued by LOCOG, a police officer or any person authorised to act on behalf of LOCOG;
- whose presence within the Venue is, or (in the opinion of LOCOG) could, be construed as constituting a source of danger, nuisance or annoyance to any other Person
- who is in possession of a Prohibited or Restricted Item as set out in the Terms and Conditions of Ticket Purchase (which can be found at http://www.tickets.london2012.com/purchaseterms.html)
- engaging in threatening, abusive or violent behaviour, and foul or abusive language; or
- causing, or (in LOCOG’s opinion) likely to cause, damage to the Venue or any equipment, fitting or fixture within the Venue.
- The obstruction of access ways, exits and entrance, stairways, common areas and any other areas within the Venue is strictly forbidden and this includes, but is not limited to, the erection or unauthorised occupation of tents or other temporary or permanent structures anywhere within the Venue and any Person creating or attempting to create such an obstruction will immediately be ejected from the Venue.
- No sponsorship, promotional or marketing materials may be brought into, used or displayed by any Person within the Venue unless expressly permitted in writing by LOCOG.
- Mobile telephones are permitted within the Venue, provided that they are used for personal and private use only and provided that no material (including audio, visual or audio-visual material) captured by a mobile telephone may be made available to any third party.
- CCTV cameras are in use around and within the Venue and LOCOG may itself use or pass to the police any recordings.
- Any property left on the Venue remains at the entire risk of the owner of the property or person leaving the same and LOCOG accepts no liability for the theft or other loss or damage of such property.
- LOCOG excludes (to the maximum extent permitted by law) any liability for loss, injury or damage to persons or property on the Venue.
Item 3 in particular has some interesting stuff about who might not be allowed in to the venue (odd, considering you’ve already gone in, and accepted these terms) – but basically it comes down to “Anyone who is – or in our opinion might be – going to be naughty”. I don’t mind the “is” part – that’s common sense – it’s the “or, in our opinion” part that causes discomfort. Who knows what might incur the blacklist ?
And according to Item 5, you can’t wear anything with logos. That’s pretty hard to do, in fact. I’m generally logo-phobic, but I know I have stuff that has a logo on it. And according to Item 6, you also can’t upload your photos to – for example – Facebook, Flickr, 500px etc.
All told, it’s a wonder that anyone actually wants to go to the Olympics at all, isn’t it?
Funding the Daily Mail
Posted: Wed 4 April, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Advertising, Charm School, Cynicism, Daily Mail, Media, Stupidity 1 Comment »In yesterday’s Daily Mail, a woman called Samantha Brick wittered on wrote an article about how life was so difficult for her ‘because she was so beautiful’. (That’s a link to the story, if you really must read it – but hang on before you do so)
Predictably, t’internet – and Twitter in particular – frothed up about it massively, and the story went viral. Which is exactly what the Daily Fail wanted.
According to their own follow-up story, that original article garnered 4,500 comments. And the ‘top-rated’ comment received 18,000 ‘green arrow’ upticks. (Think of a Green Arrow as being similar to a Facebook Like)
The Daily Fail lives by advertising. The Mail’s Online Ratecard shows that they charge a minimum of £20 per 1,000 advert impressions – and it can be a lot more.
The original story had (at the time of writing the follow-up) received 1.5million hits – that’s a minimum of £30,000 they’ve made on the one story. Of course, the original story/page is still live, and there’s also a follow-up piece from Brick herself. From the Fail…
And today she is sure to provoke another avalanche of strong reaction as she defends herself in a fresh article on MailOnline, insisting that: ‘While I’ve been shocked and hurt by the global condemnation, I have just this to say: my detractors have simply proved my point. Their level of anger only underlines that no one in this world is more reviled than a pretty woman.’
So to all the people who comment, or even just click through to read the story, I say this.
YOU are the people who fund the Daily Mail. Every single one of you. Now, don’t you feel proud?
Crackers for Easter
Posted: Mon 2 April, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, Festering Season, Sweary 1 Comment »Over the weekend, in Sainsbury’s, I spotted packs of Easter Crackers. Yeah, like Christmas Crackers, but for Easter.
What. The. Fuck?!?
(Looking on Google, it appears that this is becoming a common thing, somehow)
I didn’t get any photos this time – I’ll try to get some next time I’m there.
But really, what the hell is going on, if Easter Crackers are now a thing?
Smartphone, Stupid App
Posted: Wed 21 March, 2012 Filed under: Charm School, Customer Services, Cynicism, Domestic, iPhone Leave a comment »Ah, RBS, I do so love the way you make life really complicated when it doesn’t need to be – and indeed shouldn’t be.
As I wrote before, I recently upgraded my phone to the iPhone 4S, which was a remarkably painless process. (I know, Apple stuff “just works”, but that’s not always been my experience, it’s safe to say – and there’s still a few niggles to sort out) All the Apps I’d purchased on the 3GS came over smoothly, all the contacts, blah blah, all worked fine – except for one.
Yep, the RBS “Mobile Banking” app wouldn’t work at all. Fair enough, security for banking, I can live with that. And there’s a button for requesting a new passkey. Clicky. Oh. It’s going to come in the post, and might take seven working days. Sheesh.
Seven working days on, nothing has appeared. So I call RBS Mobile Banking.
“Oh yes, we don’t send those any more.”
“…”
“Yes, what you need to do is text STOP (and yes, it has to be all in capitals) to 87727, then uninstall the existing app, reinstall it from the App Store, and go through the setup process.”
“You’re kidding, right? This is how RBS ‘make things easier’?”
“Yes, this is the quickest process for getting things done.”
Fuck sake. Anyway, it’s been done – but what a total bag of bollocks.