Sweary Hypocrisy

I’ve found a new source of amusement – the “Parental Guides” for films on IMDB.

A perfect example is here, for the new Tom Cruise film “Oblivion

Why is it so amusing? For wondrous things like this…

bitch used 2 times bastard 1 time ass 4 times shit 6 times 1 use of fuck. Son-of-a-b***h is used once.

It’s the hypocrisy of it all – coupled with the tweeness.  In the example above, it’s OK to write bitch, bastard and fuck, but son-of-a-bitch gets asterisked out? Fuck me.


Infamy, Infamy, they’ve all got it infamy

Eighteen months ago, I had to issue a retraction of comments I’d made about the professionalism of a marketing manager and his company, due to some seriously heavy-handed legal threats from over the water.

As a quick “I wonder”, I did a Google search today on the name of the marketing manager and his company.  And yes, D4D still comes up as the first result on Google for that search.

When you think about it, that’s really funny.  (And is also what I warned them would happen when the legal people insisted I use his name as part of the apology on the title)

After all, this is a marketing manager of a major company – a company whose products also use the name D4D on some of them. He’s also always had the right of reply, I’ve never closed the comments on any of those posts. Nary an acknowledgement, not a rebuttal or apology for damaging the privacy policy of his own company, not even a “thanks for the apology”.  Which, I suppose, shows the quality of the man.

And still, there I am, at the top of the search results.

It amused me, anyway.


Acid Attacks

Yesterday I watched the Channel 4 documentary “Saving Face”  about Dr Mohammad Jawad, a renowned plastic surgeon who provides pro bono work rebuilding the faces of Indian women who have been the victims of acid attacks by their husbands.

Yeah, attacks with acid – usually sulphuric – being thrown in their faces.  Seriously, what the absolute fuck?

I know women in India aren’t treated with the same accord as in the UK and other countries – but seriously, what kind of mindset is there that makes it OK, indeed ‘the done thing’, to disfigure your partner ? What the shit?

It’s just totally beyond me, I simply don’t understand the process that makes this kind of thing OK.

(And yes, I do know – but don’t understand – the philosophy that one’s woman/partner is just a possession, an object you can choose to keep, throw away, or burn to fuck with acid.  I know the philosophy, but still, it’s just wrong. )


The Hotel, Channel 4

On Channel 4, they’re currently showing a new series of “The Hotel”, about the Grosvenor Hotel in Torquay.

In many ways it’s absolute road-crash TV, the sort that makes you think “What were they thinking when they agreed to this?” . All the people portrayed are just horrendous, total idiots. Indeed, it’s so bad that you wonder if it’s not completely staged, one of these ‘scripted reality’ shows like “Only way is Essex” etc.  Indeed, I’m not yet fully convinced that it’s not.

There are a couple of reasons I’m more given to believe that it’s just stupid people with no clue and no insight into how they appear.  They are :

  1. I’ve worked with several people who have exactly those levels of self-delusion and stupidity. (Funnily enough, all in that same industry)
  2. The media coverage that the hotel did end up getting sold to new owners

All told, it’s another of Channel 4’s excursions into excruciating people and teeth-grinding situations.


Apostrophes

One of the better explanations I’ve seen for using apostrophes and abbreviations. (And I didn’t write this originally, honest)

How to use apostrophes

Maybe if it were taught like this in schools, people would remember it better.


Middle of the Road

Yesterday was another Devon run, 400 miles in a day, as well as a bundle of work meetings and so on.

Yes, I must be mad.

Anyway, the entire run is motorway miles, which I don’t mind, and which the car pretty much shrugs off.

It does mean, though, that I come across *way* too many shitbag arsewipe drives who just sit in the middle lane, nothing on the inside lane, and sit there for mile after mile after mile.

It’s another of those things I don’t understand at all, and that seems to be becoming more and more prevalent. I kind of get it if there’s sporadic traffic (and particularly slower trucks etc.) on the inside lane, and the driver is just too lazy to “keep on” moving in and out to overtake. I kind of understand that – I don’t like it, and I think it’s still shit driving – but I sort of understand the thoughts.

But when even that isn’t an excuse, when the road is clear for miles ahead (and has been for miles already) I think it’s just a sign that the driver is an unutterable fuck-knuckle, with no redeeming factors whatsoever.


Seeking Proofreaders

One of my favourite stories today is that of the Suffolk school that’s now hiring proofreaders to check for mistakes in teachers reports. Yes, really.

From the story…

Northgate High School said the role would include correcting “spelling mistakes, poor or missing punctuation, incorrect capitalisation” and improving “poor grammar”.

The role at the local authority school pays £14 an hour.

Headteacher David Hutton said the work indicates the “high level of professionalism” at the school.

Surely a better mark of the ‘high level of professionalism’ at the school would be to hire teachers who – you know – are capable of spelling correctly and using grammar properly in the first place? After all, if they’re making mistakes on the reports, I’d be pretty damn sure they were making the same mistakes in lessons…