Celebrity Sharktank
Posted: Thu 8 March, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Creativity, Cynicism, MOTB, People, Television, Thoughts 2 Comments »Over on Twitter today, I was having a conversation with a couple of friends, and an idea came to. It would never be made – but we can dream…
The idea, as the title of this post suggests, would be Celebrity Sharktank. (Or Celebrities Swimming with Sharks – either way)
The premise – and this is the good bit – is to take ten ‘celebrities’, and let them go swimming with a whole swarm of sharks. Great Whites, Makos, Hammerheads, all the good ones. Throw in a bit of chum (bloody meat/fish, if you didn’t know) and you’ve got a TV programme to be proud of.
The ‘Winner’ of the programme would be the last one alive. Of course, if the recovery crew were really slow at getting to the ‘Winner’, would anyone care?
In my mind, the contestants for the first episode would be :
- The Kardashian sisters
- Jedward
- Simon Cowell
- the cast of TOWIE (The Only Way Is Essex) and
- the cast of Jersey Shore
The first episode would be called “Feeding Frenzy” in honour of there being rather more victims (sorry, contestants) than usual. I suspect Cowell would “Win”, but only because there’s a limit to the shit that even a shark can eat.
I suppose the only downside of this would be the potential for complaints about cruelty to animals…
Tactical Driving
Posted: Wed 7 March, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, BMW Drivers, Charm School, Commuting, Driving, MOTB 6 Comments »Over the last few days I’ve been taking part in a fun new game I’ll call “The Tactical Driving Game”. It’s also called “the 505 game”, because it’s currently taking place on the A505.
Basically, find a route with several speed cameras on it. The A505 between Baldock and Royston is good for it, and I’d imagine that the A1 around Elkesley is another gem.
While driving at normal speed, end up with some titbag trying to intimidate you into shifting and letting them past.
Pull in when you get a chance – but particularly at certain spots along the road.
Titbag then goes blasting past, attempting to intimidate/impress with their speed/acceleration/car.
And *flash*, off goes the speed camera.
It’s a joy, I tell you. A joy.
Intrusive
Posted: Wed 29 February, 2012 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Domestic, People, Sweary, Thoughts Leave a comment »I’d forgotten about this ’til now, but it annoyed me at the time.
Over the weekend, I went in to the local Asda store.Along with some other things, I bought some Diet Coke in 500ml bottles. I prefer them that way for drinking in the car, or whatever.
Anyway, I got to the till, and put them on the conveyor belt thingy. At which point the woman stood behind me pointed at them and said “Osteoporosis”.
*shrug* OK, weird. I know, but frankly what business is it of yours, lady?
Obviously she hadn’t stuck her nose in enough yet…
“That’s really bad for you, you know”
“Yep, I know. Mind you, I’ve always said that it’s either Diet Coke, or I can take up heroin instead.”
Her daughter laughed out loud.
“And I can’t imagine all that chocolate and sweetener you’re buying is going to do you any good.”
Silence.
But really, how fucking rude do you have to be, to shove your (unwanted) opinion in someone else’s face in the middle of a supermarket?
Advertising Excellence
Posted: Wed 29 February, 2012 Filed under: Advertising, Charm School, People, Sweary Leave a comment »Apparently, the ASA has told Sofa King to stop using this advert because of its rude phrasing…
Advert for Sofa King
I can’t understand what their problem is…
Parking Tickets
Posted: Mon 13 February, 2012 Filed under: Charm School, Creativity, Domestic, Driving, Parking 1 Comment »I *so* want some of these…
You suck at parking
Mind you, I must admit I made a *right* balls of parking at Homebase over the weekend – really should’ve submitted myself to YPLAC.
John Terry – Unproven, yet punished
Posted: Fri 3 February, 2012 Filed under: Charm School, Cynicism, Thoughts Leave a comment »First of all, remember, I couldn’t give the tiniest shit about football in general.
I do find myself somewhat bemused though by today’s news that John Terry has been stripped of his captaincy of England (again) – this time because he’s been accused of racially abusing another footballer.
Now note, he’s been accused of it, has pleaded ‘not guilty’, and the case is going to court in July. (conveniently just after this year’s Euro 2012 football) So at the moment he’s not been found guilty (or, of course, not guilty) of the offence. Yet he’s already been punished.
And just what kind of message does that send out to the courts, jury, fans and everyone else? Are they punishing him because they think he is guilty? (and so are acting as judge and jury before it goes to court) Or just because “it’s safer” ?
Late to the Story
Posted: Thu 4 August, 2011 Filed under: 1BEM, Charm School, Cynicism, News, People, Thoughts 1 Comment »I see today in the news that Heather Mills is complaining today that her phone was hacked by the Mirror Group of newspapers 8 years ago. Yep – 8 years ago.
Is it only me who thinks that this might – just maybe – be a bit of a bandwagon jump? Phone hacking has been in the media for most of this year, and even more so over the last month. And it’s only now that Mills (and several others) jump into the ring too. Very odd.