New category
Posted: Wed 23 February, 2005 Filed under: B&Q, Customer Services 6 Comments »In light of the fact they’re such utter, utter tossers, I’ve elected to give B&Q their own category.
I’m probably going to make up a seperate page on D4D™ for the posts as well. You know, just to make sure that Google and so on notice it too… *grin*
At the time of writing, D4D™ is #30 in Google for “B&Q Customer Services“. That’s only going to go up, if I’ve owt to do with it.
In the meantime, if you’ve come here looking for how to contact B&Q’s Customer Services, they can be reached on 0845 609 6688, or by emailing customerservicesdepartment@b-and-q.co.uk. Their address is listed here.
B&Q – You couldn’t make it up
Posted: Wed 23 February, 2005 Filed under: B&Q, Customer Services, Weirdness 36 Comments »Following yesterday’s successful uplift of the-stuff-we-didn’t-order, I got a call from B&Q’s customer services person this morning. (Yes, I did mean person. I reckon they’ve only got three or four people to deal with the entire country) She was ringing to confirm that the uplift had happened, and told me that the refund on our now-cancelled order would happen once they could confirm that the items had been received back in the warehouse. Supposedly this could take up to two weeks!
“Oh, well I don’t know how often the delivery people return to the warehouse”
Every fucking day or two, I’d hope. Twat.
I also asked if she’d seen the report on BBC’s “Watchdog” last night about the shyster fuckwit twunts. She hadn’t.
“Oh no, I was watching the Sci-Fi channel instead”
Well, thanks for that information, but I really would have to try very hard in order to give a shit. Anyway, this meant she conveniently hadn’t seen that the majority of complaints regarding B&Q were regarding the fact they can’t find their own arses with both hands, a team-building exercise, and a flashlight. Let alone find the correct items in the warehouse, and deliver them to the correct house at the correct time. Rocket Science this ain’t.
The suggestion that perhaps I should write in to Watchdog myself, as they at least seemed to get some results out of B&Q didn’t go down overly well. Nor did the reminder from me when she said “well, we have to make sure that all the items are in good condition” that she had actually said I could leave the worktops out in the front garden ’til they were collected, and that she would authorise me to do so and it wouldn’t affect our refund. (We ignored their directive to leave it out, and kept it all dry in the house instead)
“Oh yes, I did say that didn’t I? I do hope you haven’t done so, the weather’s been awful in that two weeks.”
Hallelujah
Posted: Wed 23 February, 2005 Filed under: B&Q, Customer Services Leave a comment »Well, blow me down. B&Q finally managed to get something right, and removed all the stuff yesterday. Wonders will never cease.
Of course, now we’ve still got to get the refund and compensation etc. out of the tightfisted pisswads, but well, at least we have a utility room that’s not doubling as stock storage for the arsehole tossers at B&Q.
Snowy 2
Posted: Tue 22 February, 2005 Filed under: B&Q, General Leave a comment »Actually, the walk to work wasn’t too bad at all. It felt warmer than it did last night (no blindingly obvious comments about it being daylight, please) so all in all it’s been an OK morning so far.
Herself is going to be dealing with the B&Q morons if/when they arrive. I’m still betting that they’ll have continued to screw it up, and won’t have the correct paperwork to remove all the items. Of course, I could be wrong. But I wouldn’t count on it, when it comes to that shower of shitheads.
Stylish Apology
Posted: Thu 17 February, 2005 Filed under: B&Q, Customer Services 2 Comments »I don’t normally read spam-mail from Amazon, and I didn’t read the original mail this refers to, but I do like the certain style with which they’ve apologised for the fuck up. It’s paragraph three that wins it for me…
We’re writing to correct a recent e-mail notification that we sent about “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6).”
In our e-mail, we stated that this title would not be immediately available from our suppliers, and that you may want to search for it elsewhere. We would like confirm that this book will be available from our suppliers and will be delivered to UK customers on the day of release (July 16th 2005).
We assure you that howlers have been sent to the muggles responsible for this action and we are investigating the possibility that You-Know-Who may have been involved.
I do like it when people can turn round, admit to a fuck up, and make me smile at the same time. Far better than the B&Q “It’s not our system, you must’ve ordered it incorrectly” methodology that makes me just want to reach for the over-powered cattle-prod.
B&Q – still going
Posted: Thu 10 February, 2005 Filed under: B&Q, Customer Services, General 2 Comments »And in direct contrast I also got an email last night from B&Q’s customer services saying “Thanks for your comments, we’ve forwarded them on to someone who’ll talk to you soon”. Impressive – only three days between sending the email and receiving a response.
I despair.
B&Q – Finale(ish)
Posted: Wed 9 February, 2005 Filed under: B&Q, Customer Services, Weirdness 5 Comments »I’ve just cancelled the order with B&Q. Now we just have to fight to get the wrongly-delivered stuff removed before we can get a refund on it. The tossers.
Never again will I shop using the online B&Q site. It’s crap. The latest chapter in the epic has involved dealing with a person in their customer services team – one who was apparently offended at the word “effing” (I got told not to swear at her – she hasn’t seen this site, obv.) and who tried to say the entire farce was my/our fault for ordering the wrong items.
Speaking slowly, I explained that we’d used the website, where order numbers weren’t entered by the customer. If the twunting fridgelickers couldn’t get the right numbers into their website, how was that our problem? The offer to re-do the order (“I’ll put in the correct code this time for you” – patronising shitehawk) and still not get it delivered ’til mid-March was, shall we say, received unenthusiastically by myself.
So now we’re back to square one, and need to order 2 x 3m worktops. I wonder what Homebase can do to fuck it all up?