Weasels

So, today is the deadline for the return of the Self Assessment forms for Tax Year 2004-2005. That’s fine. And if it’s not put in by today, then you’re liable for an extra £100 fine for not sending it in.

OK, all well and good.

Except that, because in my case the Inland Revenue are utter, utter cunts, I didn’t get the return form until Saturday. Which makes the entire thing rather more difficult than it should be. As yet I don’t know whether I’ll get the £100 penalty added in, and then have to protest (again) about it before they’ll do anything. It wouldn’t surprise me.

I know it won’t be a quick process. I’m still in arguments with the incompetent tossbags about the 2003-2004 tax year, which again I didn’t get any return for at all. In fact the only reason I knew I was even being self assessed is because I ended up getting a snotty letter saying “you haven’t returned it, you now owe us £xxxx (I won’t go into the amount, but suffice to say it’s a) bollocks and b) a lot ) Eventually I got a duplicate form, which I returned along with the relevant P60 and all the documentation. Which they’ve then managed to lose.

When the Inland Revenue send out your forms, they work on the assumption that you’ve received them. “We’ve sent them, therefore you must have received them. It’s your fault you haven’t.” is the attitude. However, when you send items to the Inland Revenue, they work on the assumption that they haven’t received them. And guess what? It’s your fault that they haven’t received them. On the BBC news this morning, they had said to take your tax return to the nearest tax office, and get a receipt for it. Only it turns out that the tax offices won’t actually give out receipts. So you can hand in your form to the tax office on time, they can lose it, you won’t have any proof, and guess what? Yep, it’s your fault.

As far as I’m concerned, the Inland Revenue are scumbags of the direst proportions. The ratio of helpful people to cunts seems to be about 1:1000 (and I reckon I’m being optimistic at that level) and at the end of the day they only seem to exist to penalise you when you get things wrong. If all goes according to the plan, you fill in the forms, you tell them what you’ve earned, you tell them what tax you should pay on it, and you pay the tax. So what do the cunts actually do all day?