CatWoman

I see in today’s news that Halle Berry turned up in person to accept her award for “Worst Actress” for her role in “CatWoman. All I can say is she deserves it. Oh, and to be buried in pigshit for a year, just to enforce in her head what happens when you immerse yourself in crap.

By a ‘lucky’ chance, Herself had listed Twatwoman from Lovefilm, and we got it this week. God knows why it’d been requested, but it had. And oh my dear sweet Lord, what a pile of inordinate shite it is. If I were the inventor of celluloid, I’d be spinning in my grave right now, knowing that my product had led to this.

The director, Pitof, has a pretty good track-record – he’s a disciple of one of my favourite directors, Jean-Pierre Jeunet. But God he can churn out the shite when he needs to. Visually, Twatwoman is kind of impressive – it’s got a nice feel to it in places, and some very stylistic shots. But I’ve seen MFI products less shaky than the story line, and the acting was so wooden it would’ve fitted in nicely on Eldorado.

Truly, truly awful – don’t let it anywhere near your TV.