Parking a BMW
Posted: Wed 21 May, 2008 Filed under: BMW Drivers, Charm School, Cynicism, Driving, Thoughts 5 Comments »[Note: This is one of those posts I’ve kept on meaning to write, and it’s been lagging in my brain for about a month now]
As regular readers (Assuming there are any, still) of D4D™ will know, I’m really not a great fan of BMW users. OK, let’s be honest, I think that the massive majority (roughly 99.5% of ’em) of BMW owners are total dickheads. Those rare few BMW owners who aren’t complete tosswads? Exceptions to the rule, that’s it. You’ll also note that I tend to not refer to them as “drivers”. (“Arseholes” or “Wankers” is a far more probably piece of terminology)
One of the people in my current office is – you’ve guessed it – a BMW user. Every day – every day he rolls up in the carpark, and plonks his (small) BMW slap-bang over the separating line, so his car takes up two spaces, with half a car’s-width of space either side. It’s completely intentional – I don’t know why he does it, but he does it every day.
Thankfully, the car-park isn’t short of spaces, so this cock’s behaviour doesn’t actually inconvenience people for the most part. But it’s just so indicative of BMW owners, like their cars are something special, and should be treated differently from all others.
And in fairness, I do treat it differently to the other cars. Because I really want to key it, to scratch the shit out of this bell-end’s oh-so-previous paintwork. And I never feel like that about cars. Except for this one.
i would flatten his tyres that would piss him off and probably just teach him a lesson
Let one of his tyres down, leave an anonymous note on his windscreen, something like “I’ve let one of your tyres down. Park properly tomorrow or it’ll be two”.
Then if he doesn’t park properly, it’s two tyres. Then three, then four. Then, and only then, do you resort to keying the fuck out the paintwork, or throwing a litter bin through his windscreen.
But I’d say two flat tyres is as far as it’ll go.
I used to know someone that deliberately took up two parking spaces all the time, because they were worried about other drivers scratching or bumping their precious motor when parking next to them. And no amount of reasoning from my part, about their anti-social behaviour, could persuade them to change their behaviour. Some people are just selfish, I guess.
You guys should get a fucking life- if you spent £25k on a car you might know what it is like when some inconsiderate tosser puts a dent in it. Why dont you try asking tesco why they felt it necessary to reduce the width of their parking spaces, meaning that it is almost impossible to open your door without hitting the car next to it.
I spy a BMW owner…
Personally, as I’ve said many times before, I own a fucking great boat of a Mondeo, yet I can park in Tesco (or anywhere else) and be able to get both doors open without even touching the other cars.
It’s about being able to drive/park, and knowing the width of your car, nothing else.