Demanding
Posted: Tue 31 July, 2007 Filed under: Animals, Domestic Leave a comment »There are times when I truly want to strangle both our animals. This morning was a case in point.
Having been repeatedly kept awake by Hound drinking from her bottle during the night, I got up at my normal time of 5.30. Oh, lucky me. Stumble into the kitchen, where there’s Hound wanting to be let out, and Psycho Cat wanting to be let in. He must finally be settling in – that’s twice in the last few days where he’s gone out at night. But normally the window’s open, so he comes back in as and when he wants during the night – except last night Herself closed it. So Psycho Cat is pissed off.
Straight away, he starts yowling away, wanting food. It won’t stop ’til the food’s down, so that’s the first job. All the while accompanied by yowls. He literally won’t shut up ’til the food is placed in front of him, even when the mouthy little shit can see that I’m doing it.
And then as soon as the cat’s been done, the fucking dog starts up. It’s not fair, the cat’s been fed and I haven’t. Wah wah wah. So she gets her happy pills next (homeopathic pills that stop her from being quite such an irritating fuckbag most of the time) before I can even begin to think about my own breakfast.
When I’ve done my toast, I get tracked into the living room by Hound, who sits waiting for me to finish each slice of toast so she can have her last little corner of each slice. (Yeah, yeah, I know, we should wait ’til we’ve completely finished before giving her anything. Hey ho. Rod for our own backs, although it was put in place way before I came on the scene, although admittedly I’ve continued the tradition) Then she’s still hungry, so I feed her the half-bowl of dog biscuits that weren’t eaten last night.
Finally, when that’s done, Hound’s still hungry. So I get up to top up the bowl, during which the irritating little ballbag barks incessantly until told to sit down and shut up. Which, in fairness, she does.
Only then, because I’ve told her off, she decides she’s no longer hungry, and wanders off into the garden, with that look of “Ha! That’ll teach you, human.” in her face.
Bastards.