That Festive Feeling – The Bad
Posted: Mon 18 December, 2006 Filed under: Cynicism, Festering Season, Thoughts 3 Comments »
So yes, the bits I hate about the Festering Season.
I hate the hypocrisy, the materialism of the entire season. I hate the obligations – or rather, the perceived and implied obligations- that befoul people when it comes to Christmas. I know I’m a cynic, and in many ways I’m also a hypocrite, because I do get things for the people who I want to buy for. What I don’t believe in is buying stuff for everyone I know, plus work-colleagues, plus others.
Over the years, I’ve seen probably way too much of the bad side of the Festering Season, and I can’t deny that it’s had a lingering effect on me. I spent eight years running pubs and hotels, and every Festering Season I’d see too many people who were either in fairly serious trouble because of their Christmas spending, or who were depressed because they didn’t have the people around them they wanted, or they hadn’t received the number of cards and/or presents that the media and marketers made out the should have. I saw too many of the negative sides, and not enough of the positives. And for New Year, too many hypocrites who would be professing Auld Lang Syne, and peace and goodwill to all people at midnight, followed ten minutes later by beating the shit out of each other.
Once I’d left that side of things, I spent the next few years working over Christmas in a variety of places – Samaritans, Soup Kitchens etc. Again, I saw the negative side of the Festering Season, with not a great deal of the positive. But at the same time, well, I believe that it’s not a bad way to handle Christmas, to be honest – while I’m not religious at all, and don’t celebrate that aspect of it, I do believe that actually it’s no bad thing to spend the time helping out those far worse off than oneself – and that in many ways, it’s possibly a more “Christian” way of working than most.
I haven’t done that for about four or five years now, but I do still find that my thoughts at this time of year still turn to the people who’re depressed by the season, and by the differences between how it’s portrayed to people, and how it is. I don’t know if that makes sense – it’s the difference between the way dramas on TV (whether soaps, American dramas, period pieces etc., or anything else) show it as being this time of plenty, of presents, family, money, food, and happiness while some people’s personal experiences show it as a time of penury, loneliness, solitude, hunger, and depression.
Personally, I’ve had a couple of close friends die around the Festering Season, which never helps much either. I don’t harp on about it – but it’s there, it’s n my mind on occasion during this time of year, and I can’t deny it.
So, yeah, all told, I’m really not a fan of the Festering Season…
See, I have very similar views to you about this time of year. But, well, I’d guess I’d rather concentrate on the positive, and try and enjoy it (and I usually do). I also wonder (analysis time) if the fact that your thoughts, at this time of year in particular, to turn to those who are ‘less better off’ than yourself because you are feeling… guilty? ashamed?
Again I feel the same way, I know I’m lucky to have family and friends who I care for and who share a lot of my views. I know there are other people who are mis-fortunate. I spent on ‘festive season’ deliberately buying coffees and donuts for random homeless people. One of them once said to me that what I was doing was very kind but I shouldn’t feel obliged. His point was that I was being disrespectful of those people I was trying to do some good for, by neglecting my own family. He was a bit of a gem though, I still see him sometimes, and always get a smile and “hi”.
I’m rambling now.
I totally agree that the build up to Christmas is completely over-hyped. And it’s as a consequence of this hype that so many people feel a failure for not living up to the Christmas ‘ideal’ at this time of year. There is a certain expectation that you *have* to spend the day with family, and that you *have* to serve the perfect meal, and spend a fortune on gifts. It’s just madness.
As a bit of religious type myself, I’d have to say you’re right about thinking (or even better, helping) other people who are less fortunate. And I thoroughly commend your previous volunteering work. I only wish I was so virtuous.
It’s strange though, don’t you think, that so much importance has been heaped upon this one particular holiday. After all, it’s not a religious thing – Easter is much more important than Christmas.
I’m really not a fan of the festives. For some reason it’s a time of year I always find depressing – I dwell on what i want and don’t have, not what I do. Christmas day itself is tough in our family – it’s generally the day we feel the loss of my dad the most keenly. I’m mainly glad when it’s past!