“Not Me”

You know those Securicor vans with the really loud “BEEP BEEP BEEP! Caution, this Securicor vehicle is REVERSING!” alarms? They’re useful because, well, Securicor vans are supposedly fairly secure, have no back windows, and thus the driver can’t see out the back. So if you’re standing behind the van, the poor sod can’t see you, which could cause thumpage.

I’ve just been looking out the window at work – well, the reversing alarm’s loud enough I can hear it from across the road, through the window – and watching two blokes just miss getting squished because they’d somehow missed a) the announcement, and b) the connection that it might be linked to this purple van with Securicor written all over it, that was reversing towards them.

What was even better was that these two then start having a go at the driver! Like it’s all his fault that they’re a) deaf, b) blind, and c) fucking stupid. You just couldn’t make it up.


5 Comments on ““Not Me””

  1. Tones says:

    Had the same thing happen to me many times, when I was driving lorries..
    Used to put hazard lights on and the reversing beacon was loud enogh, and yet they still nearly get to become roadkill..

  2. Andy says:

    I bet you were stood in your office laughing your manboobs of Lyle, either that or you were stirring it up even more. I know I would have been.

  3. Gordon says:

    And yet it’s those feckers that nothing ever happens to.. sod and his bloody law at work again.

  4. David says:

    MP3 players – wonder if someone could sue the manufacturer(s) because there isn’t a warning printed on the packaging. “Beware Securicor Vans reversing” “This product causes total deafness when played load”

    Have you checked out the huge bunny on the Thomson advert yet?

  5. Lyle says:

    At least one person has started to sue Apple because iPods “are too loud”. I hope the defence consists of “Exhibit 1 – Volume Control” “The defence rests”


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