Alleyway
Posted: Wed 5 October, 2005 Filed under: Charm School 5 Comments »The Scenario : Lunch-hour, and I have to go through a narrow alleyway, populated on both sides by shops. In the middle (both lengthwise and widthwise) of the alley, two couples have met up, and decided to have a natter. A side-effect of this is that, of course, they’ve completely blocked the alleyway, so no-one else can get through – and there’s no easy/quick way to get round them either. Selfish blinkered tossers.
“Excuse Me.”
[ absolutely no response. Not a dickie-bird.]
“Excuse Me.”
[ again, nothing. Obviously I am a speck of dirt on a shoe ]
“OY! Deafarse! Get out the bloody way!”
[They move, to much tutting. As I go past I hear…]
“No bloody manners, these people today”
“Well, perhaps if older people had some manners themselves, and moved their arses instead of blocking up pathways and then ignoring people politely asking them to move, then people wouldn’t fucking swear at you. You twat.”
That rumbling noise you hear in the background? It’s the head teacher of the Charm School spinning in his grave.
Oh! I wish you’d really said that last part.
You’d hate living around my way then. First week back of student life and the streets are full of people walking 3-4 abreast on pavements, who then stop randomly for conversations. I do think that it’s time to actually start swearing at the bloody lot of them.
Destructor? You notice how that final line is still in the quote box? There’s a clue in that. *grin*
I’d love to see you trying to negotiate all the crowds of students on Oxford Road this year… !
Simple. Me + Steel-toecap boots + big stick (or big bag) + speed of walking = dead/injured students.
I fail to see a problem with this.