Mickey D’s
Posted: Fri 23 September, 2005 Filed under: Customer Services, Sweary, Thoughts 2 Comments »This one’s been brewing since last weekend – you have been warned!
Currently, there’s an advert on TV for McDonalds, telling everyone about their “great” new toasted deli sandwiches, “freshly prepared on the premises”. (In fact, it says it on the website too – “Did you know that our Deli sandwiches are freshly made on the spot?“) OK, all fair and good.
On the weekend, on our way down to Portsmouth/ Waterlooville, we ended up stopping at a McDonalds for the first time in ages. Now, Herself is vegetarian, which kind of limits the choices in a burger place, but all the same you don’t expect to be greeted with the response “Sorry, we don’t do veggie burgers any more, we only do these “Grilled Veggie Melt” sandwiches. Which, frankly, sucks – if you’re going to something like fucking McDonalds, you’re pretty likely to want a fucking burger, not some grilled sandwich with houmous, pitta bread, and chargrilled vegetables. It’s not rocket science, but apparently McDonalds (advised by those pious holier-than-thou cocksucker in the Vegetarian Society) have decided that vegetarians don’t want burgers, they want these godforsaken concoctions loaded with bland cheese and – having now tried one – no fucking taste whatsoever.
The secondary factor is that, for reasons known only to Herself, she doesn’t like courgette. Fair enough. These pox-arsed sandwiches are – let’s not forget – “prepared fresh on the spot”, so we can just ask for one without courgettes in, can’t we? Um, no. When they say “prepared fresh on the spot”, the bullshitting lying corporate tosswhores knows as McDonalds actually mean “we get in bags of pre-mixed vegetable concoction, and thaw it out in the morning. When you order it, we put the stuff together, which is how we can get away with calling it ‘prepared on the spot'”. So you’ve a) no choice, b) no options, and c) a diagram involving a canoe, a creek, and the exact directions to the nearest paddle-store, 100km away. Cunts.
I saw a poster for one of these “freshly made” deli subs and my first thought was “yeah, right!” Come on, what did you expect? Cordon Blue?
Couldn’t have said it better.
My gripe with these fucktards is that they dumped MY FAVOURITE BURGER, the Big Tasty, for these bandwagon-jumping ‘health food’ crapsicles. I ate several of these a month, sometimes more than one a week, and loved McDonalds for making it.
Then they dump it, leaving only their crap ‘kids food’ that I hated before and still do, and try to change themselves into Subway overnight without spending any money. Who in their right mind would want to get a “freshly prepared” sub sandwich over a burger joint counter, not seeing any of the creative process? With Subway you can see what goes into every sandwich from start to finish, and choose every ingredient along the way. I don’t want some pre-prepared tasteless wads purporting to be “healthy” in place of wholesome, good BURGERS that McDonalds are supposed to sell, after all they are a HAMBURGER restaurant, no?
Yep, you can tell, I’m pissed off about it. And so are you, obviously. I wonder just how many people out there are equally angered by this loss of good food all because of some momentary bandwagon-jumping in the food industry?