Cat

I’ve written about The Cat before. Little shitbag that he is.

Last night, we/I forgot to put the bastard’s food out. So at 5am he starts attracting attention. First of all it’s a simple meow, then it gets louder/shriller. After that he starts running along the hallway before doing an emergency stop into the carpet, which he knows makes one hell of a racket, and generally wakes me up. (if I’m honest I wake up when the little sod starts meowing, but I’m not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that) If I don’t move at that point, he’ll take a run-up along the hall, take a sharp right into the bedroom, and hurl himself at me, claws protruding. That’s a definite wake-up, but I’m not going to let that happen again.

What really gets me though is that when I do get up to put down the fuckers food, he bounces up and is all cuddly and purry, as if to say “Oh, were you up? While you’re there, you wouldn’t mind putting down my food would you? Pretty please. Pretty, pretty please.” Like he’s some innocent, and it was all the evil twin’s fault. Not his.

This morning, as revenge, I woke the little sod up twice from his bone-idle slumbers on the spare bed. I’m awake, and so are you.

Tonight may just be messy…