Retrospective

Pixeldiva wrote about the way her life has changed this year. I’m really pleased that things are working out for her, and congratulations again on the new job!

In many ways, my year has been very similar. Ups, downs, highs, lows, and a curve that looks like a moonshot.

Looking back in the archives to the start of this year, I was at a low ebb then. The previous year had worn me down, and I was hoping that 2004 would be a lot calmer. Come to that, I was also planning on spending the next Festering Season™ somewhere other than the UK. So, got both of those wrong then!

In the last year there’s been whole worlds of change. In February I was surprised by one person (who I never really wrote about, except in some very roundabout ways) and let down by another. (another thing I never really wrote all that much about) Over the summer I ended up being even more surprised by another person, and things changed immensely.

The person who let me down had continued to do so, and it ended up with us going seperate ways. It’s not easy walking away from a decade-long friendship, but on this occasion it had to be done – and I still don’t regret it. Sometimes it’s odd, thinking “Oh, I must tell them that”, but no, there’s no regret and no doubt. Everything took time, because I didn’t want to end with a “what if?” moment – and that’s worked, there’s not been a “what if?” thought at all. Does he read d4d™? I have no idea. I don’t honestly care that much – but I suspect he doesn’t, it’d be far too much like showing interest.

And now we’re at the end of the year. I’m moving back down to the South, and new job, new house, new(ish) relationship, and spending Christmas in Norfolk. In all honesty it couldn’t be much further away from any situation I’d envisioned for where I’d be at the end of the year. Huge leaps (one might even say quantum leaps) have been made, and I’ve changed immeasurably over the last twelve months. 2005 is going to involve more of the same, but a lot of it will be developing things that’ve started up this year.

This time last year I hadn’t even printed a photo – now my stuff is on walls in a few houses. I’ve done photo work I’ve been paid for, and also submitted (and been rejected) stuff for an exhibition. I’m going to keep on with it, and see how I do once I’ve moved, though.

Tomorrow I interview for new jobs, and all I can do at the moment on that score is “wait and see”. I’m trying to find a balance between optimism and pessimism. And failing.

I’ve no idea what 2005 will bring – if this year has taught me one thing, it’s that sometimes everything is out of our hands, and we just have to ride the waves it throws our way.