Unnatural

God, this is strange – I’m actually having a weekend in Manchester, with nothing planned, no travelling, no people staying, and not much that needs doing. How ace is that? By my reckoning, this is only my fourth free weekend this year, and only about the sixth in the last twelve months, so I’m going to be concentrating mainly on doing fuck all.

Well, once my bloody landlords have come round and done their property inspection. They’re only half an hour late so far. Tossers.

Dripping

Fucking hell, it’s wet. Here in Manchester, we’ve already had 100mm of rain, as opposed to the normal average of 82mm and it’s still raining. I know people say it always rains here (and I have to say, on most occasions I wouldn’t argue with that concept) but at the moment it seems even wetter than usual.

Still, at least it seems to be country-wide for the moment. The landslips in Scotland and of course the damage in Boscastle have gone to show that Nature can still screw up the best laid plans of Man, and that’s fine. Of course, wasn’t El Presidente Blair saying something earlier this year about reducing the number of helicopter rescue stations, as they weren’t something we really needed for the most part? Let’s hope that plan is now filed under “Idea, Fucking Stupid” as it should have been at the start.

Graphical Geekery

There’s a graphics tool known as POV-Ray, which is one of those things I’ve never yet managed to get my head round. However, this month is its tenth birthday, and as a result, there’s a competition going on to produce some winning artwork through POV-Ray. More interesting is the Hall Of Fame, with some stunning pieces to come out of it. Personally, I’ve got a definite favourite, although loads of the others are fantastic too, and way beyond anything I could even dream of coming up with. All due respect.

As requested by a certain important person :
Non-Geeky Phrasing : Look at the pretty pictures.

English as she is spoke.

As part of our wonderful immigration rules, all migrants wanting British passports must prove sufficient English knowledge, the easiest means to which is gaining an English for Speakers of Other Languages certificate. However, if they speak English as a first language, they can’t get that certificate, and must instead have a written confirmation from a “designated person”. Yet until at least September 1st, the Home Office don’t even know what fulfils the requirements of a “designated person”.

As a result, Australians, New Zealanders, and many others are being refused passports as they can’t prove that they speak English. How bizarre is that?

(Of course, it also means Americans fail the test, but well, clouds and silver linings.)

In touch with reality

“Hello IT, Stinky’s phone.“
“Oh, is Stinky not there?“
“No, he’s not in yet. Can I take a message for him?“
“Oh, OK. Well, is he expected in today?“
“Yes, he’ll be in later, he’s just not here yet.“
“Well, can you tell me when he’s going to arrive?“
“Hang on one moment, I’ll just send a telepathic message to him and try to find out where he is and what time he’ll get in“
“Ah, that was a bit of a silly question, wasn’t it?“
“Yes“

“Lifelike”

According to the BBC, Madame Tussauds in London has created an effigy of Brad Pitt with “strokeable” chest and “squeezeable” buttocks made from silicone. Frankly, yick.

Visitors are invited to feel his chest, which the attraction says is “springy” and lifelike, in the updated figure – as well as the “popular” squeezy rear.

That’s just vile – and if it’s anything like other items made of “realistic” skin, then basically it’ll just feel like squidgy rubber. I’ve always found the idea of waxworks and effigies kind of weird anyway, but to now have something where sad gullible gimps go and “touch” their favourite stars, or (I guess) have photos taken next to the effigy or whatever, well, that just makes the entire thing even less appealing.

Whatever floats your boat, I suppose.