The Matrix Reloaded

Amazingly, it’s taken me almost a week to see this – my excuse is that I was running round like the proverbial, and just didn’t get chance to see it ’til today. But anyway.

I saw The Matrix first just after I’d moved up to Manchester – and thought it was a stunning piece of work. Needless to say, I’ve been looking forward to Reloaded (and part three, Revolutions, when it comes out in November) since I knew it was being made. So obviously it was pretty much a must-see. Some of the critics haven’t been overly impressed with it, so there was a minor query in the back of my mind about it – would it live up to expectations? Or would it just be another sack-of-shit sequel?

Well put it this way – I’m still convinced that the critics generally talk complete bollocks. Yes, there are some pieces of the film that aren’t to my taste (I still find myself wanting to be a schoolboy and retch copiously when screen characters kiss and so on) and in some parts the storyline hangs together by the merest threads. But it hangs together – something that’s not always a requirement in the middle part of a trilogy. Of course, as with the first one the main constituents of the film are the effects and the fight sequences, and they are simply stunning. The scene on the freeway is going to be a film classic for the next 30 years, the way that the car chase in Bullitt has been the acid test for all car chase scenes.

A lot of the film’s hype has centred around the effects, and the fact that people will be back to saying “How the hell did they do that?” – and for once it’s true. The changes between actors and computer-generated is pretty much seamless – while watching it, it’s difficult to discern between the two, other than the simple knowledge that some of the sequences aren’t humanly possible, that some of the shots are impossible to achieve with anything other than a “virtual” camera. The fight scenes and soundtrack are top-notch too – it’s definitely worth seeing. (just avoid the snogs – they’re vile *Grin*)

One final point – if you do go and see it, do so at the biggest and best screen in the area. It’s worth it.

More train thoughts

Maybe Virgin Trains have a real problem with their train toilets – the exact same situation arose as when I was travelling down to Reading. Six coach train, one working toilet.

I’d say it’s taking the piss – but of course it’s not even taking that.

Graffiti

Travelling from Birmingham to Manchester by train, at one point just outside Smethwick (a suburb of Birmingham/Wolverhampton, I think), the traintrack runs past a canal, over which there are several bridges. On one of these, with no decoration, no extra stle, the words “Tojo the Dwarf” are daubed.

And I want to know who wrote it – I’m assuming it wasn’t Tojo himself, as the bridge is at least 12 foot off the ground. And if it wasn’t Tojo, then who the hell wrote it – and more importantly, why?

Jehovah’s

There was a knock on the door this morning – and it turned out to be another coven of Jehovah’s Witnesses. I’m normally fairly civil to them – I wouldn’t fancy facing the sheer amount of abuse and rudeness they face, so fair play to them. All the same, I swear the sods have fitted me with some kind of tracking device. I get visited about once a month on average at home – and (in a fit of blinding logic) it’s always when I’m at home. Now, I’m in Reading at a friends, they’ve both nipped out for about an hour, and I’m in the house on my own.

*Knock Knock*
*Opens the door*
“Hello sir, do you believe that there is any hope of global peace?”
“Well, I certainly do, but not today, thanks.”

Personally, I reckon that rates pretty highly on the non-violent ways to get rid of Jehovah’s Witnesses. And one day I’m going to ask them who Jehovah really was, and frankly, what the fuck did he witness that was so great?

Health and Efficiency

I’ve just seen the most wonderful example of marketing-speak. Bird’s Eye foods have released a “new” product. The advert addresses all the parental buzzwords about health, vitamins, and cooking vegetables properly. How do you keep the goodness in, rather than boiling them to death?

Well, it appears that the answer is this new vegetable product from Bird’s Eye – vegetables in a bag that you sling in the microwave so they steam-cook, rather than unhealthy boiling. So – “keep the vitamins in” by irradiating the veg. Sounds like a plan to me.

Shitty trains

Ok – here’s a simple equation – One Train = Six Carriages. each carriage holds 70 people, plus however many standing ones. So – 420ish people, maybe more. How many toilets are there in a six carriage train? Three. How many were working, on a journey between Manchester and Reading? One. Don’t you just love rail privatisation?

Musical trends

Why is it that sometimes, regardless of what else you try to do, there’s suddenly a musical refrain or lyric running through your head? I’m currently sitting here and I’ve got Carter USM’s “Bloodsport for all” blasting through my frontal lobes. Not even the entire track – that wouldn’t be so bad – but no, all I’ve got is “The coldest stream guards of them all / sang God Save the Queen and bloodsport for all“.

And in connection with that, how come that no matter how many albums/tracks you’ve slapped onto the laptop for a journey, as soon as you’re on the train you want to hear something that you KNOW you haven’t got on the hard-drive?